Of Another Life
by Ashalyn
Summary: Years after Megatron's demise, an echoing whisper of his resurrection brings fear to mankind and the Autobots, and hope to the Decepticons who still remain loyal and strain under the leadership of Starscream. Could the echoing rumors of Megatron's reincarnation be true? And will the Decepticons accept their leader? Only time will tell... Enjoy! :)
1. Chapter 1: Death's call

Of Another Life

Chapter one : Death's Call

Before I begin this crazy tale of life after death, let me introduce myself. I am Misasuki Misako, a 33 year old woman who has lived a life of the worse kind. I never believed in reincarnation, didn't believe in a happily ever after, and didn't give much credit to the thoughts of there being a possibility of Transformers really existing. I made my small fortune by way of a starving artist, and usually, I did starve. My artwork wasn't very popular except at those rare sci-fi exhibitions where my genre was highly covented. I made a small living off of the occassional sellings off of ametuer artist sites. I was single, living alone, no friends, and not even the loving house-pet as my beloved Mew passed away just two months prior to this telling. To make a long explaination shorter, I was a very lonely, depressed and run-down woman. And if the telling seems rushed, don't worry, it'll be filled in soon. Now that this is out of the way, I'll begin where it all started, on the road to Arizona. . .

Numb, I never recalled in my sad life ever feeling this numb before—and calm. It felt as though for the first time in my life, I was making the right decision. The scenery passed by me in a blur of motion, ordinarily, I would have been in awe-camera in hand- and taking pictures to paint later in hopes of making a small bit of money from the beauty nature offered. But today, I was just numb. The decision to come all the way out to Arizona from Kansas hadn't been rash, but nor was it well planned. I had woken up early the night before and made the decision almost unconciously. I had thrown what I needed in my car, written a short-detailed note for anyone who might wonder where I'd gone, and simply left. Taking the first road I'd found that lead me in the direction of Southwest.

Now that I was on the road, with nothing to do but think, I realized that this was the direction I'd been 'called' to since I was a little girl. I always loved the Southwest direction, and had always felt pulled to go there, to some point which I could never explain. Lack of money and knowledge, and fear of becoming lost and being without money so far from home left me feeling too afraid and uncomfortable to attempt what I was doing now. But I had enough money in my pocket to pay for fuel, and eating wasn't something I was worried about. After all, it wouldn't matter once I reached my destination. As the scenery and cars flew past me in blurs of color and sound, I thought back to my life, which had been nothing short of terrible from my very first memory.

At the age of two, I developed an amazing ability to communicate with animals and plants. A gift that revealed itself when I was able to convince flowers to bloom when the most skilled botianist had said the soil was not proper. I caused trees to move their limbs down or out of my way as I walked through forests, I was able to even speak and touch wildlife such as pumas that roamed in our wild area beyond my childhood home without fear of attack. People where I lived called me a Witch. Said I did the devil's work. And as such, I had no friends in the small entirely Catholic town I was raised. My parents were what people call die-hard-christians, and went to church twice a week, Wednesday and Sunday. And despite the fact I went with them, rumors still presisted that I was demon-infested due to my amazing abilities. As I grew older, my growing talents brought on the attention of others, both the US government's military divisions seeking "psychic-teams" for their military divisions, and another sect of people I didn't know but knew to avoid.

By the time I had reached adulthood at 18 years of age, I had been almost killed roughly 32 times. The US government had stopped messing with me when I was 12 years old, and the other parties that tried to kill me whom I didn't know had picked up speed until I was 17 years old. I had been shot through the heart from the back by a large "bolt"-like arrow when I was 8 years old. The injury didn't kill me, even though it had pierced both my heart and my right lung, doing a lot of damage. I survived. From ages 12 thru 16 I had been hit by four sedan-sized cars, two large trucks and two contruction sized vehicles. All had been purposeful and powerful attempts to kill me. Although significantly damanged, I recovered fast. Super-humanly fast according to doctors, who eyed me with interest I didn't feel comfortable with. It was the final straw when I was 18 years old, that made me decide that I would never reveal my abilities to the public again, and I would simple fade out of existance to those who hunted me or knew of me. I'd leave my reputation as demon-spawn, and an alien-human imposter behind me and prove I was a normal person like the rest of them. But it was a single event that made me decide to do so.

Two months after turning 18 years old, I was walking to my country house along my usually quiet dirt road on a nightly walk when a car came speeding down the road. I had grown paranoid by now of anything that was streaking towards me, and immediately moved to defend myself. The move turned out to be proper. As soon as I had moved into the open field to my right, away from the road, the speeding car verred dramatically and headed towards me. I raised my arms in automatic defense, and felt the same rush of energy pulse around me and outwards. The car was just three feet from me when it stopped as though a massive forced had dropped on it, crushing the entire front end of the car with more force than the car compactors at a salvage yard. The car was dead. Literal and figuratively, it was dead—still and non-functioning. Terror had raced through me, I'd run to see if the driver was okay only to find the seats empty.

That day had haunted me until the end. A sudden blaring of a truck horn brought me out of my thoughts to look around, another asshole had decided 75mph wasn't fast enough and had sped around me, narrowly missing the oncoming semi-truck in the opposite lane headed eastward. I blinked, the car clock said it was just a little past 1pm, the scenery had started to massively change from the hilly flats of western kansas to the distant touches of blue mountains that laced the southern parts of Colorado and New Mexico's borders. Without a map, I wouldn't have known what road to take, but that didn't worry me. Still engulfed by the same calm numbness, I automatically flipped my blinker and got off of the familiar HWY 54 and turned onto another road. I just _knew_ that where-ever I was going, it would be the proper way. At this point in my life, all roads lead to the same destination, of that, I was sure.

The cloudy skies gave way almost immediately to a blaring brightness, the cool air of the November day seemed to immediately warm up to the sun's rays. I'd been on the road now for almost 14 hours. I blinked, I didn't feel tired, I hadn't stopped for a rest room stop or to eat, but still felt no hunger or urge to stop driving. I took a few different turns every so often, but mostly, never paid any attention to the towns and cities I passed. They were unreal to me, almost as if they weren't truly there, but ghosts fading in and out of view. Another memory flared up in my mind, and it seemed to take control me of just the same as the last. . . .

I was 24 years old, still alone, no friends, no boyfriends, my family had long since cast me out and wanted nothing further to do with me. My health was poor, and I had been showing my wares at a psychic festival in the Sedgwick County Park where it was held annually. A booth next to me was a fortune teller giving away her gift for $35 a reading. I had held my tongue that I would gladly give the same readings for free, and be far more accurate. But I'd long since given up trying to warn people of anything of the future. They never believed it, and even if they did, it was fixed in stone to happen, so why tell someone of something that couldn't be altered? I had been there two days of the four the festival was open when the fortune teller seemed to notice me. My artworks scattered about my small make-shift booth. Jewelry, paintings, smallish sculptures of creatures never seen before, and a large carving that had taken me nearly 10 years to complete of a woman with her arms upraised screaming at the sky, complete with flowing robes and hair all carved from a discarded trunk of an old White Ash tree that had been removed so a housing development could be made. The city hadn't minded me taking the useless trunk, and I'd worked to make its soundless scream heard.

The fortune teller looked at my wares that day, and shook her head. "You'll never sell anything with such a negative aura around you. People are drawn towards love, happiness and wealth. Such poor and thoughtless effort into your works just drips and oozes with negativity. It's affecting my ability to see clearly into the future's mysteries. If you can't be more positive, leave."

Normally, I am a soft spoken, kind hearted person. And on that day, I wanted to just become invisible. This hustler had just insulted my life's work. I didn't tell her what an old fraud she was in front of her customers, yet she openly mocked me in front of a few people who had been gazing at my works from across the small path that divided the booths down the parkway. Deep inside me the rage swell to the surface, the rage that had been bottled up since I could remember at the age of two. The rage that fueled vicious acts of 'psychic storms' as the governemnt offical had said once. I'd struggled for years to master it, yet it was beyond my ability. The rage seemed to have been built up for eons, not just 24 years. So I smiled and whispered to her softly the prophecy of her fate. "I'd not worry about my negativity, because it is your short-sightedness that has brought upon you the fate of your family. Pack up your things, and you might make it back in time to pack your precious life's work before the storm of Fate rips it all away."

She had glared at me as though I had mocked her own work, and stalked off back to her booth. She had no way of knowing I spoke the truth. The day was cloudless and beautiful, and the forecast was for only a slight possibility of a thunderstorm later in the afternoon. What followed was a hellish storm of historic proportions brought about by the sudden development of a dryline just slightly west of Sedgwick County and created a hellish wave of storms which slammed across the middle of the state in a southeasterly fashion. Her very home, which she had ignored my warnings, was struck directly, nothing was left standing, not even a doorway. She'd lost it all. And I'd known it would happen long before it did. Hours before the dryline had developed, I'd taken my works down, secured my make-shift booth to the hood of my car and taken my life somewhere else, just northeast of where the storm would rage. Safely out of reach and able to keep my life together for a bit longer.

As I had said, there is no point telling people their fortunes, they never listen to what you have to say and it can't be altered anyway. So why bother. . . Another disturbance brought me out of my thoughts, ever-loudening sirens blasted down the highway, I obliged them and pulled over to the shoulder, as they passed, I was stuck waiting as every bastard on the highway seemed to think this was an opportunity to get ahead of my ever slow 75 mph driving. I let them, my mind content to roam over what had been my life. . .

At 26 years old, only two years later, I had been notified that my parents had both passed away, and I was the sole beneficiary of their estate and belongings. Their estate was a slightly better car than I had, and a massive amount of "junk" which had been collected over their 35 years of marriage. I had been required by law to go and receive it all. So unhappily, I had. The car they had left behind was a nice older modeled Dodge Durango. It was in pristine condition for its age, and had a much better milage than my current car. With no payments on it, and a cheaper insurance rate than my old lugger, I simply switched vehicles and changed the insurance into my name. I felt a little bad that there was no hollowness, no sense of loss in finding out I was now truly alone in the world. But after all, I'd never had friends, and my parents had always shunned me because of my natural abilities and thought I was a servent of the devil.

After dealing with their estate, keeping what I felt was useful and giving the rest away to charity, I went back to my life knowing nothing really had changed. But in fact it all had. What little good I had in my life was now gone. I found myself trapped in the same circle of rumors as when I was a child. My parents demise was being blamed on my ability to "dabble in Witchcraft". I had always snorted at such remarks, as a True Witch would agree, what I had wasn't something that could be "dabbled"; as it was a natural gift from the evolution of life. A fluke presense of power that any human was capable of if they'd let go of their lifetime of teachings that such were impossible and evil. But the rumors were more vicious. Even the police investigated me for a while, seeming to think that I had something to do with my parents' deaths. That I hadn't been "sad enough" during the funeral and that somehow proved everyone's beliefs that I was responsible. Although no formal charges were carried and the corener's office had said their deaths were not foul play—I found myself yet more isolated and my precious works of art even harder to sell.

My health dwingled along with my hopes and dreams. I'd watched them all crash and burn like a jet from the sky after a vicious hurricane caught it. There was no recovering from this death sprial. I knew that. And after one ER trip to the next, I knew now that this wasn't a life that was worth clinging too. But I stayed strong for my only companion. A large furry black Maine Coon mix whom I'd named "Mew". He loved me dearly, and went with me without complaint. Sitting on the dashboard or passenger seat during our roadtrips and travels. Staying at my side while I worked on more artworks, and even in a harness at my side during my outdoors sellings. He was always there. My constant companion, my silent would-be lover if he weren't a cat.

Then...just two months prior to this very moment sitting on the shoulder of a highway with my blinker on, waiting for my turn to go into traffic...I had awoken from a night's sleep to find my friend, my life's companion dead. He'd passed away in his sleep, curled faithfully at my side, his face resting lovingly underneath my chin, his little black paws, smattered by grey hairs from age wrapped around my neck in a last embrace...I'd wanted to die right then with him. I couldn't bare the thought of going on alone. He had been my only comfort since I was 18 years old when I was first on my own. He'd been with me for all those years, through all those hardships. And now he was gone. For the first time since I'd gotten into the car and started driving, I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks. A wave of pain so strong I felt a wail of despair edging up my throat, I swallowed it back and shook my head violently, I slammed on my gas and steered brutially into traffic, blaring horns and shouts of anger and surprise greeted me, but I didn't care. I wanted—no I _needed_ to move from that spot, the place where grief had found me again.

My resolve was tighter than before now. . .My destination was more important. It seemed almost urgent that I get there and complete what Fate had drawn for me. This was a life I no longer wanted, not that I'd ever wanted it to begin with, but now the pain was too great for even the numbness to overcome.

By the time I'd reached Arizona, it was well after midnight. Darkness seemed a little comfort, the air was cooling off again as I headed now in a more northwestern direction, headed where my instincts told me to drive. There were signs everywhere now, luring tourists to the famous trails for the Grand Canyon, offering burrow rides down the hiking trails...But none of these interested me. Finally, I turned down a dirt path that wasn't named, I knew this was where I needed to be. I was alone, no one on the highway to see me go off-road, no one to ask me any questions. The early morning sky was breath-takingly clear. I drove for only an hour before I stopped, turned off the car and got out. I didn't bother with the keys, if someone wanted the car, it was theirs. From here on out, it didn't matter to me.

I walked, and for the first time, I looked up. The Milkyway Galaxy's band was extremely bright, every inch of the sky seemed filled with amazement. I could even see the fuzzy outline of the Andromeda Galaxy in the pure dark sky. I didn't need a flashlight, I didn't need a map. I just walked. Didn't matter if I became lost, I knew where I was going, as though drawn there by some invisible force, following a road no one but I could see. It was pre-dawn when I finally just stopped. It was the first time I looked down from the sky since leaving my car. In front of me was a void, total blackness peering up at me from the depths of the gorge I'd stumbled upon. My feet were inches from the edge. My heart quickened, whether in fear or excitment I couldn't say. I just knew this was where I needed to be. I watched the blackness give way to light, slowly the beauty and majesty of the Grand Canyon unfolded before me. Wild and untamed, this wasn't the tourist attraction part, but the part seldom seen by human eyes in centuries.

Freedom had never seemed so close, the wind channeled through the canyon walls seemed to sing the same song that'd been inside my heart for many years, this was what had brought me here. The song of saddness, the song of the Ages. Whispering among the rocks, plants and the wind around me, promises of salvation, a final end to my pain, and a sense of belonging wrapped up in me. I felt my arms slowly lift from my sides, the wind dancing along my body and closed my eyes. The urge to move forward was powerful and I was so wrapped up in my sense of finding that one place I was meant to be, that I must have not heard the approach of another behind me.

The sound of a semi-disel engine being cut startled me into staggering backwards a step to look around. There, among the sparse desert life, sat a large bedless disel. I blinked, suddenly disorintated and confused, the song I'd been hearing drifted away and reality seemed to crush back in around me, filling me with that sense of loss and aching that had drawn me there. The disel was alone, empty and abandoned, yet I knew that it hadn't been there while I had approached. It was directly behind me, I would have stumbled upon it while I walked. And I had _just_ heard that engine cut off, as though it had been running not moments before. As the thoughts rolled through my mind, my eyes took in the sight of the disel sudden becoming a mass of twisting metal, and as suddenly as it started, it stopped. The massive truck was gone, and in its place a huge bi-pedal robot stood looking down at me, and suddenly knelt down, his face mere feet from me, that part alone on him towered over me, yet no fear washed through me, only an odd sense of not being alone anymore.

"You don't seem afraid—are you not surprised to see me standing here before you?" The giant robot asked, its—no, his voice a gentle soft rumble despite his size.

I felt my head shake. "No, nothing surprises me in life." I heard myself say, and knew it was true. I hadn't been surprised by anything in life since I was a small child.

"I am not uninclined to hear that. But I am surprised to find you out here. So very far from your home." There was a hint of something in his voice that drew my attention, and made that ancient anger stir deep within me at his next words. "It is dangrous for you to travel so far from civilization alone."

I felt my back straighten and a frown grow upon my face. "What would you know of danger to me? I am not afraid of death. I welcome it." The words were new on my lips, yet they felt right somehow.

The giant robot seemed to study me in silence for a moment, than let out a great whoosh of air through his body as my mind translated it to a sigh of resignation. "You are not here by happenstance, are you? Or do you even know, I wonder. . ."

My irritation was mounting, I had come here to find my peace, and now it was being vanquished by a giant alien robot, for no creature such as this could be indiginous to Earth without being seen before hand. But there was almost a dark irony in this alien's presense. Would the Life itself, who struggled so greatly to prevent me from achieveing any happiness or peace from birth to this point it seemed, now thwart my peace by the presense of an alien? "The reasons for my being at this place are gifted to me by birth right—you're being here is not. What do you want?" I turned fully from my fate and faced the giant robot. His large eyes—optics maybe—studied me for another agonizing second before responding their brightness casting myself and the area surrounding me in a blue haze in the pre-dawn light.

"You're home is in Kansas, and this is far from it. Why did you come here, to some place so isolated that not a human has set foot in this area for more than half a century?" His deep voice was at once soothing and irritating to hear. I remained silent, folding my arms in defiance, giving him the best glare I could afford given my situation, which was one of my better 'death glares' if I say so myself. His optics flickered about my body, seeming to take in everything in a second before answering himself. "Your vehicle, left so far away has no food, clothing, water or any other essentials for a human to survive so far from home—you have no intentions of leaving this place, do you?" His voice softened a little, easing the feeling of irritation, a feeling of relief spread out from my stomach, at the time, I couldn't understand why I was relieved the knowledge of my destiny had struck him.

"And what is it to you if I had no intentions of returning to a place I am not welcome?" I asked, surprised to find my voice quivering slightly as though on the verge of tears. My legs were suddenly shaky, threatening to bring me to my knees, I locked my knees back and tightened my muscles, refusing to show weakness to some alien intruder. "How do you know so much about me? Since you seem to know I'm from Kansas and that I brought nothing with me on this...journey." My eyes raced across his giantic frame. For a moment, a flicker of fear raced through my mind. Something deep inside of me growled _enemy_ , but that part seemed so far away at the time.

"I know more about you than you could dream of, young Misasuki Misako. But perhaps now I should introduce myself before I go into such details. But first, would you please step away from the canyon rim?" I sensed a bit of anxiety in his voice, a motion almost to quick to notice as his optics seemed to gauge the distance between me and the rim.

His nervous calculation confused me, so I looked behind me and realized yet again how close I was to achieving my goal. Somehow I had become distracted from it. But now I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering the song of the wind, the call of the ancient gorge below me—and felt my body lean backwards into the wind as it seemed to fold back against my shoulders and hair like a lover's carress. A soft sound of movement brought my eyes open and to notice my ' _savior_ ' was much closer than previous, although still a good distance away to likely minimize the risk of the rocks being too thin to carry his weight. "Fine." I took a small step forward, away from the edge of my freedom. "Speak your peace."

The robot seemed to nod in appreciation to my—however slight—cooperation. "My name is Optimus Prime, and I have been watching over you in secret since you were very small. Your sudden disappearance from your home gave all of us a jolt."

I narrowed my eyes, that other part of me which seemed to growl becoming more alive and closer to the surface than it'd been in years. "Optimus Prime. You're a—Transformer. Like the movies. I thought they were just science fiction. Fanciful cartoons turned into live-action movies out of lack of original concepts." I shook my head, sliding one foot back a little, prepared to continue with my plan, as I was obviously now delirious from my time in the desert and from driving out here. "You're a delusion brought on by dehydration and starvation."

Optimus Prime remained motionless for a moment, not even his optics flickered, he just stared straight into my eyes. I shifted a bit uncomfortably, but the growl of that darker side of me, the part of me that hated the world for how it had treated me began to surface. A small snarl of impatience and anger escaped my lips before I could stop it. "I am no delusion, although I do detect you are in a state of dehydration, you are remarkably well off for such a time without nutrition and proper care. I assure you. I am real." When I made no move to interrupt him again, he continued, satisfied I would listen without remark. "As I stated previously, I have watched you since you were very young. You came to our attention due to your very unique abilities. I am sure not even you understand why you are so different from other humans. I am sure you have noticed the distance others place you and the great lengths the government has gone to keep you under...control."

I shook my head, choosing that moment to interrupt, I took two large steps towards Optimus, my unease about him momentarily gone in a flash of anger, my eyes widened and the rush of heat flew through my body as I felt the pressure in my chest build as I yelled. "What do you know of my 'unique abilities'? What do you know of how I feel? How can you say that? How can you stand there and say I don't know or understand what others have done to me my whole life?"

"You misunderstand me. . ." But I kept going, not willing to allow him to continue, the rage of my darker half now in full control of me.

"Do you know what it was like? Growing up with the power to...or how it felt when people hated me without even knowing me...? Do you know what it was like to be seperated from other girls and to be called a freak? I had no friends, no one wanted to be around the girl that could twist the elements or speak with animals, no one wanted to associate with someone that could lift you up without touching you, or that could run and slam into the side of an RV and tip it over..." I trailed off, tears running down my face freely, I wiped them away, growling in anger at both my lack of control and my show of weakness.

Optimus sat back slightly now, his optics flickering around my body once again, the wind had become chilly suddenly, I shivered in spite of myself and fought to regain my control. "I didn't mean to imply that. I understand how you could feel..."

I shook my head angrily, self-control cast aside again in another wave of anger and rage. "You could never understand! You could never understand what it is like to be isolated in a crowd. To feel so alone while surrounded by people. I'm almost 35 years old, I've never had a boyfriend, never had a 'girls night out', never had a single birthday party, I've never been kissed or held while I cried! I've never...I've never..." _been loved._ I couldn't get the rest of the sentence out, but the anger left me in a rush, a long sad sob seemed to come from deep in my throat, I felt the rocks and dirt on my knees as my legs suddenly gave way.

Optimus was silent for a while as I just let myself burn away the pent up emotions that were spilling out of me. He seemed almost to expect such a thing to happen, and made no motion to end the event quickly. I wasn't sure how long exactly I held my face in my hands and cried, but when I suddenly threw my hands on the ground and lifted my head to scream: " _WHY?!_ " Before breaking down into sobs again, it seemed to startle him out of his silence. "I do not have the answer for this." His voice was soft, my hands closed around handfuls of plants and dirt as I kept my face lowered and hidden in my hair, tears falling down on my legs and shorts. "But I can give you the explaination I do know."

I looked up at him, a mild glare through the tears mostly hidden by my hair as it fell over my face. "What could you possibly know as an explaination for my life? Are you the cause? Are you the reason?" The anger was edging back into my voice, that dark part of me that was always just below the surface growled deep inside once again, _enemy_. I was almost liken to agree.

Optimus gave another sound which closely resembed a human's sigh through his side vents, light puffs of dust kicked up from the exhaust. "As with all creatures throughout time and space, our race—Transformers as you know us—have fought our own wars. To make a long story short, one such war carried us to your planet, Earth. Our enemy, the Decepticons, and their leader, Megatron waged a war for dictatorship and sovernty over our home planet—Cybertron. His views and beliefs were drastically different than most of the population including the ruling council over our race. Thus a war was started." A brief pause, I made not move to interrupted, so he continued, I turned my head to gaze out over the lip of the canyon as he spoke. "We had an artifact which was the lifeblood of our race, we called it the Allspark. This artifact granted life to us and allowed us to replinish ourselves and our world for peace and prosperity. Megatron and his army wanted to gain control of this artifact, we could never allow it.

"As he seemed closer and closer to achieving his objective, we did the only thing in our power left to prevent him from commiting sacralige and using the Allspark for evil. We launched it into the depths of space, but Megatron immediately took after it, and we knew we'd made a mistake, while sparing Cybertron, it would only be a matter of time until he regained the artifact and returned. We pursued." He trailed off for another moment, this time, I spoke up, still looking over at the colors washing through the canyon as the sun began to make a proper appearance above the ridges and distant mountains.

"What has all this got to do with me? I don't have anything to do with your Allspark." I muttered, trying to contain the impatient rage still boiling beneath the surface. In this at least, I was skilled at doing. As the rage had always been present in my life.

"No. In essesnse you're wrong. The Allspark has everything to do with you. Allow me to skip parts in the story to get to the point you need to hear. In a final confrontation between myself and Megatron, which took place more descreetly than your movies suggested, I was finally able to destroy Megatron. The Allspark, which is used to send the sparks of our deceased on to our final destination or a renewed life, was used upon his body. At first we assumed that the Allspark had sent Megatron onward to his final destination, whether the Pit or the Matrix, we couldn't know.

"It wasn't until months later, while in the presense of the Allspark that I learned he was destined to be reincarnated, as you call it, and that immediately sent a shudder throughout our people who remained on Earth. Word travels fast however, and the Decepticons learned that their leader would return in another form. Those dedicated began their search, as the Allspark had at least indicated that he would be reincarnated in the form of the intellectual indiginous lifeform here. For a very long time, the Earth was scoured for signs of a human with a spark—for decades, everyone's hunt, both ours and the Decepticons that remained, could find nothing.

"That was when a shocking truth was revealed. A human man, who had been a high ranking military black-ops sniper had been forced to escort an important political figure to the base where we housed the Allspark. As he was leaving, alone, he passed the chamber of the Allspark, it was that moment that the Allspark shot out a blast of energy, striking him in such a way his DNA was infused by the touch of the Allspark. At last it seemed the vessel for Megatron's reincarnation had been chosen. So we waited...

"After years of study, the human got tired of the attention and unwanted tests, Megatron's spark was obviously not in the heart of this soldier, but perhaps his offspring. So upon his discharge from the military, he was given the understanding that should he have children, those children would be tested equally. When he bore his first offspring, a male-child, there was much anticipation. We all felt that this would be what we had been waiting for, and as the testing began, some of us argued what would be done when we had the reincarnated spark of Megatron reborn on the Earth. The arguments of destroying him permanently were strong, however, it was more reasonable to allow him to live his life out as the creature he dispised most. That seemed the better option and more fitting punishment than just death upon birth.

"Our excitment was destroyed when we discovered this male-child was indeed not the spark of Megatron reborn. The ex-soldier decided the stress on his family was too great, and he chose an operation to terminate his ability to produce offspring. But the reach of the Allspark is long. Years later, after wedding a second time after the stress of his curse destroyed his first marriage, he found himself discovering another child on the way. Enraged, he swore to the military they could simply have the child should it turn out to be male, to prevent the horrors of the testing process with another wife whom he loved. Her pregnancy wasn't easy, many times she nearly lost her unborn, and finally, at the end when we all figured our waiting would continue. She gave birth, and to our unending disappointment, it was a female child." As he rattled on, I listened with growing attention, I knew some of this story, I had heard it from my father himself as he told me of the 'miracle' I was to their life when I was very small, before I began to openly use my abilities and began the down spiral that was my cursed life. The frown on my face was giving way to a look of despair.

"Wait...wait...this ex-soldier sounds like my father!" Optimus allowed the interruption with a brief silence and then continued with his dialogue, I fell silent, wanting to hear the entire story, rather than snippets.

"As time passed, and no further offspring from him were produced, we actually gave up searching. The Decepticons were insistant in continuing their hunt, but we knew they'd find nothing either. An open ear for the unusual in the human world was all the attention we gave the matter. And then quite suddenly, we heard news we couldn't believe. The very child we dismissed without testing because she was a female child, was producing the very oddities we were on the watch for. And as we listened more intently, we discovered a great war had erupted within the Decepticon faction, they knew their leader had been reborn before we had, and a rift had formed as in what to do with this information. Part of them wanted to return him to his rightful place as leader, regardless of present form or gender, and the other part wanted to have him eternally destroyed, unwilling to bow to the whims of a female flesh-child with the remnants of Megatron's spark.

"It was this rift that gave us the time to track down the child, and to finally have her tested. My own CMO, Ratchet, ran these tests, with more delicacy than before, as the female child was very sickly and fragile. But his tests were immediately positive. The more invasive testing did not need to be done, it could be seen clearly and with little trouble that within this small human baby no more than 2 years old, the spark of Megatron rested. This combination of spark and human body was hardly compatible, we had not anticipated the possibity of a literal combination, or that there would be issues due to this incompatibility. But the human female's body began to change and to adapt to the new demands this strange new addition required. It was amazing to see. While in the womb, the mother's genetics forced the small unborn to form as was required through eons of genetic coding, but here was this young human female, changing—losing inside what made her human, and gaining something more...

"While her outside didn't alter much, her looks remained that of a small human female child, her internal structure began to shift dramatically. Lung capacity was different, the heart shaped differently, a special organ was created to house and utilize the energy the spark would give out, but it was well hidden within the incredibly strong ribcage and behind the much larger pump for the heart than most humans had. She was amazing to see, her eyes capable to seeing things no human could detect. And than...the side effects started to occur. Those small things that humans aren't compatible with. The by product of the energy the spark produced caused a mix of signals within her body, causing nerves to fire off wrong, triggering massive pain." He stopped, looking at me hard with his huge blue optics, the words had hit me as though they were fists. I was hearing my life explained to me. All the strange doctor visits, the requirement of being placed under anestheic for hours at a time, the constant pain I felt was I had grown up.

It was a hard thing to witness. Hearing your life described in such a casual third-party way. Fresh tears started to fall from my eyes before I could stop them. A new wave of emotion washed over me, one of humliation and shame. I had been studied as though I were an object found buried deep in the ground for scrutiny. I had been violated in a way this...this...the word failed me, a more righteous anger was taking a hold of me, I had grabbed a hold of a handful of the bush next to me and was squeezing it, blood dripped from my closed palm, the branch—as with most of the desert shrubbery—was thorned. "You are speaking about me, aren't you?" I looked up, my normal eye color had obviously changed again, a moment of surprise washed over his face before quickly disappearing.

"Yes. Yes I am." His ackowledgement was as painful as my prior realization that he had been speaking of me. A part of me had hoped I was wrong, but the rest of me knew it was true. "You are suffering because of the _karma,_ as your race calls it, of Megatron. He did much evil in his life, and the side effects of that are burdened upon you."

My mouth fell open and for a few minutes, I couldn't get enough air, it seemed, to speak. I was being punished for something I had done in a prior life. There was deep irony in this, as my entire life I had always said 'What did I do in a past life to deserve this?' and now I finally had the answer. If Megatron was as evil as everything I knew about him through the media sources claimed, I was in for a long life of torment. Finally, words came out of my mouth, and I almost didn't recognize them. My brain was working without telling me what it was thinking again. Not the first time in my life I'd been floored by news and my brain knew what to do and say. "So, those who were trying to kill me through shooting me and running me down were supposed to be Decepticons? And what of those who continuously tried to kidnap me? Decepticons also?"

Optimus stayed silent, and for a while I wondered if he was going to now throw me over the edge of the canyon since I now knew what I once was. His optics never left me, his soft gaze remained steady as my mind roiled against all the information, rolling it over and over again. All my pain, all my mistreatment, all the bad looks, all the massive isolation, the feeling of being utterly alone while surrounded by other people. It was true, I was alone. As I had adapted the saying: 'Just human enough...' it seemed to fit now. Finally, after a long silence, the sun was now high enough in the sky that its warmth was cutting through the desert cold, my urge to shiver having stopped finally, Optimus began to speak again, slowly and carefully, as though trying to make sure every word he said would be clearly understood. "You have noticed, obviously, their attempts to obtain or kill you. And I am also sure you have noticed their sudden absence in attempts upon you. They have not stopped, this tactic is well-known to us, their silence is a bad thing. A very bad thing." This caught my attention again, there was something in this tone, the careful way he was saying it, the tone in which he was saying it, and the odd emotion my Empathy was picking up that sent a jolt of terror through my stomach. "We have heard rumors, which I have no reason to disbelieve, that state the Decepticons are more unified now.

"You are far from becoming old. Have you realized that you do not age the same way humans do? How you seem to retain youth even when you should begin to show a fading of it? It is not simply 'good genetics', although genetics have everything to do with it. Our race ages very slowly, we mature over vast spans of Earth-based time, and while you may not have such a lifespan, you could very well watch the ages of the Earth come and go before falling into your Twilight years." I found myself suddenly wanting a mirror. For me, mirrors were symbols of vanity and I hated them. I found my reflection revolting. The face that stared back at me had always seemed so foreign, as though an imposter stared back through the reflected glass. Was this because of Megatron's impression upon me? Was I me? Or was I Megatron? I hadn't looked in a mirror since I was 5 years old. Optimus' voice stirred me from my thoughts once more. "You do not know what you look like now, do you?" There was a hint of surprise in his voice, although the edge of wariness remained.

I shook my head. "I never felt right with my reflection. It was wrong. It was a lie." I said before I could stop the words. I'd never spoken them out loud before. They sounded painfully stupid. A mirror spoke more truth than most people.

"You should, I think you'd be surprised at what you saw." Optimus said, then suddenly grew more serious."Please, I have spoken the truth to you, given you reason to understand the pain you are enduring, allow me the same privilage, why are you here?"

A shadow seemed to have fallen over me, a deep ache seemed to form again in the pit of my stomach, and like a black hole had formed, seemed to suck all the life out of me as quickly as I had begun to regain it."I came here to die." I slowly got to my feet, my body ached, hands throbbed and knees burned. Blood trailed down from where I had been pierced by thorns and sharp rocks from my fall and subquent rage of gripping the flora near me. Optimus remained silent, I still don't know to this day if that silence was to allow me to say more, or if it was too shocking to hear it said so calm and plainly. But I continued without thought of the impact on him. "It is a beautiful and ancient place. I've felt drawn to this place for a very long time, and I decided two days ago, when I left Kansas so suddenly this would be where I would allow myself to rest. In the ancient and beautiful wonder of the Grand Canyon. My heart showed me where to go, so isolated, peaceful, far from humanity, I would rest peacefully, my body returning to the earth before I was discovered, if even ever then."

After a few short moments from my last, Optimus spoke again. "I can not permit you to end your life. It is not right for one to terminate their life without just cause..."

I barked a loud angry laugh, it echoed through the canyons like a sudden gunshot, animals in the distance cried out in both surprise and anger at the sudden disruption of their silence. "No just cause? My life has been filled with pain. People on the streets will sooner spit on me than give me a smile, and despite the fact I am _entirely_ alone in my life I have no reason to continue it. And you tell me I have no _just_ _cause_ for suicide? I have no reason to _not_ kill myself!"

For the first time since I had first seen him, he suddenly seemed impatient, his optics darted quickly around our surroundings. I felt an odd prickling go down my spine, the fine hairs on my arms and my neck responded to odd mix of sensations attacking me, I dismissed them. I wouldn't let his sudden paranoia divert me from my goal. "Misasuki Misako, you will accompany me back and I can assure you, your life will be more meaningful. I have agreed to stay in the background by obligation to your government, however now is not the time to honor such when things are this dangerous. Terminating your life is not something to take lightly, nor to do on the whim of grief. I can give you the answers you have always wanted to hear..." He stopped in mid-sentence, suddenly rising to his full height.

I felt my dry throat search desperately for a way to swallow. His size was definitely intimidating, and I don't intimidate easily. Having been short my whole life, I now felt absolutely miniscule next to his foot. But the wonder and terror of his size gave way to a massive wave of emotions that were not mine and I was pretty sure they were not Optimus'. A mixture of delight, sadistic excitment, and vicious hatered washed over me, the part of me deep inside seemed to respond to it immediately. My hand automatically raised to feel the air. Psychometry is another cursed gift I contain. It would take only moments to search the state using the tiny air particles, and quicker if the thing I searched for was close. Immediately, a blur of images flashed through my mind in dizzying speeds, I seperated them all until I found that of a military jet traveling far faster than any human-piloted jet or military drone and virtually silent as it—no, he—flew through the canyons with a graceful ease that again betrayed the lack of a human pilot. "Great. Where there is one—trouble always comes in threes." I muttered.

Optimus looked at me and gave me a very grave expression. "You must come with me if you want to survive."

I felt my eyebrows shoot up and a strange laugh escape me. "But I don't want to live." And I took three steps back quickly, to the edge, I could feel bits of rock and sand falling into the canyon. I felt my heart slam rapidly against my ribcage, as though it would burst through at any moment. A wild and sudden insanity seemed to grip me. "I am the one who controls my destiny! No one else! In this, at last, I have a say!" A fierce joy raced through my veins, filling me with liquid fire as I held my hands out to my sides and raised my arms up and leaned backwards. I could hear Optimus' shout of denial, but the sensation of free fall had already taken hold, I watched the world tilt, the sky was so beautiful here...the colors amazing...yes, it was a good place to die.

With that, there was a sudden blast of pain through my back and the back of my head. With the thought of the ground being hundreds of yards down still flickering as the world went black.


	2. Chapter 2: A New Beginning

Chapter 2: A New Beginning

~Memory Shift

Fear bolted through me as I looked around the huge vacant lot filled with dead things. There was no living grass, the trees were twisted skeletons in the grip of a plagued death. No flowers, no bird calls, not even the wrestling of squirrels arguing over territory from the tree branches. I turned around to look up at my mommy, she and daddy were caught up in an adult talk with my uncle, none of them seemed to sense my distress. I looked back out at the horror that was to be my new home and felt tears spring to my eyes. I didn't wanna live with death, I was already missing the lush soft grass of my papa's yard, the huge field-like maze of Iris flowers and the tall stalks after the blooms had fallen off for the season. The birds that sang there, the squirrels who constantly bickered over whose tree was whose. Even the bees, including the mean bumbly bees which always chased me when I came across them.

A sudden darkness fell over me, I cowered down, a strangled whimper escaping my tightly pursed lips. Looking up, I felt a wave of relief. Papa's huge hands were lowering down towards me, I lifted my arms up obligingly, grateful for someone to notice my fear and insecurity. He lifted me in his massive arms and held me against his chest, crooning softly in my ear as he held me securely against his chest, my face resting against his shoulder. "There, there, small one. There's no need for tears. Its okay, Papa's here..." He gently bobbed with me in a standing-rock that made all my previous fears ebb away, I clutched his shirt with my little hands, and buried my face into his neck. Papa was my protector, he kept the bad things away, forced the darkness to reveal itself. Made the monsters under the bed run in terror...he was my protector. "What has my little 'Suki so upset?"

I mumbled against his neck. "Is all dead. Wanna go home."

I felt his chest rumbling in a gentle laugh against my body. Papa never got impatient with me, never lost his temper, and always seemed to understand my simple words. Unlike mommy and daddy, who were always busy, and never had time for 'baby talk'. "Sweet little 'Suki, this is your home now. It won't look like this forever, its colder here than at my house. Remember? We're far away from my house." I felt his grip loosen a little, and I straightened back to look my Papa in the face. "Brave little 'Suki, this land is your solace. Here is your chance to make green things grow and give the birds, squirrels and bunnies a reason to come and play!"

"An' butterflees and bumbly bees too?" I asked, feeling a little uncertain about all that being on my shoulders.

Papa gave his perfect laugh, his eyes sparkling with affection. "Yes, even the bumbly bees and butterflees." He gave me a little kiss on the cheek and carried me away from my mommy and daddy. Once we were out of ear shot, his face took on a sad look. "Sweet 'Suki, brave 'Suki...there's something I have to tell you. Papa's gotta go away soon, and we won't have times together anymore, but there's stuffs I need you to learn, m'kay?"

Fear exploded through my chest, my heart hammered so hard I could feel my entire body move with its force. Tears flooded my eyes and leaked down my cheeks in torrents, I wrapped my arms around his neck in as strong a grip I could. "No! Papa no! You can't go no place! You're my Papa!" He made small hushing sounds, and I lowered my voice so as not to be heard by anyone else. "Don't go Papa! The bad things will get me! The monsters under the bed will get me! Please-?"

Another wave of fear swept through me as I looked at his eyes and saw tears. Papa's heart was hammering against my body, I could feel it, I could hear it, I could sense his emotions as they were my own, the washing of sadness, pity, and a lot of something else I couldn't understand. It felt like anger, but I knew my Papa couldn't be mad at me, he was never mad at me, he said so himself loads of times...so why was Papa so mad? "Brave little 'Suki, you're so grown up for your age! I need you to remember all those things we talked about in my garden, m'kay? I need you to remember all those promises you made for me, m'kay? No matter what anyone says, you're not a nobody, you're a very special somebody. You're unique and very special. One day, that will reveal itself. One day you'll understand." I heard daddy's voice calling out to Papa, he nodding in daddy's direction. "I'll visit when I can, just remember the stuff we talked about, m'kay?"

He gave me a kiss on the forehead, lingering there a long time, his warm lips against my cold forehead, I could feel all the strength, love and protection that was Papa seeping into me. I held onto it for dear life. Papa was going away, and didn't know how long. I needed that strength until he came back. Papa handed me back to daddy, who just set me back on the ground, it was hard, cold and dead. I cried, watching as Papa walked away, he didn't look back, which made me sadder. A long wail erupted from me, my little hands went out to Papa, begging him not to go, I didn't wanna stay here, this wasn't my home! But he kept walking, and disappeared in the torrent of tears that blurred my eyes.

~Sometime later~

Too many days and nights had passed since I'd seen Papa. I was still really sad he was gone, but I could think now. I could remember what we talked about in the gardens at his house. Our games, that he said would be so important later, how he told me back then I could play them on my own too, when he wasn't around. It had taken me a long time to stop being so sad, but now I played those games alone. The yard wasn't so dead anymore. Singing to the grass made it happy, the trees liked it when I talked to them, and even the wind seemed to stop being so mean and let the birds back to sing with me. When mommy was talking to my aunt once about the dramatic change in the land, and my aunt said it had been dead for more than 8 years, I told mommy I did it.

I learned then never to say things like that again. Even if it wasn't a lie, truths could be painful too when someone didn't want to hear it. So I stayed quiet. But now mommy said that Papa might be coming to visit me, if I was a good girl I'd get to see him on his visit! So I was on my bestest behavior! After all, I wanted Papa to see how big and brave I was! I was three now! A big girl indeed! Had only two years passed? It seemed a million years ago Papa had left me... adult time was so strange...

When Papa arrived, it was dark outside, and he had more gray hair than I remembered him having before. His eyes looked tired, dark circles under them, and he wasn't as soft anymore. He picked me up and I could feel different emotions coming from him. He was happy to see me, but his anger was much stronger, his eyes seemed to flash with something scary when he looked at my mommy and daddy, but the look faded when his eyes turned to me, so it was still okay. "We're gonna go have fun tomorrow! We're gonna go do lots of fun things in a special place, wanna come with me and have fun tomorrow?"

Excitement made a small squeak escape me as I nodded happily in his arms. His eyes looked...sad but his smile was the same as I remembered it. Did Papa always look so sad on the inside? I didn't remember him that way. But it had been so long...

Mommy and daddy tucked me into bed and turned off my light. But I wasn't sleepy, I wanted tomorrow to come quickly, I jumped up on my knees in bed and opened my mouth to call out for Papa when a sudden wave of a very strong anger hit me hard and the sounds of angry voices reached my ears. I fell quickly down into my bed, and covered myself to hide from the pain of the angry voices. "I don't care what they say, she's a little girl, you have no right to put her through this right now! Think of all those other little kids, it was always negative, and they were scarred for life. _Scarred_! Do you want that to happen to your little girl?" Papa's voice was very angry, I could barely hear it and I didn't understand what he was saying; but it was enough for me to know that did not I wanted to hear it, bad for me—my hearing was always very good.

"She's started showing all those traits that we were told to look out for. If she is the one that they're looking for, then I don't want her living in _my_ house anymore!" That was mommy's voice, who were they talking about? It was only mommy, daddy and me that lived here. Did mommy not want me here?

"She's barely three years old...much younger than the others that were tested. She's too young, and on top of that she's _female_. There is no way she's the one. The child _has_ to be male. Why put her through so much pain and suffering for something that isn't going to turn up positive!" Papa's voice was louder, his anger more intense, I could feel it lashing me like an angry tree branch in the face during a very windy day. I knew when he spoke, the 'three years old' was me. They wanted to hurt me? Mommy and daddy wanted to make me hurt? I hadn't done anything wrong! I'd been a very good girl!

"I'll not have that monster living in my house! I will not accept that abomination as my only child! If that's what it is, than its better off dead than here!" Daddy's voice boomed and I heard my mommy's voice hiss for him to stay quiet. "I don't care if she hears or not. I know that she's that monster they're looking for. She has to be, look at how she was created?! If it hadn't been for my working in the same damned building as that fucking Allspark they were keeping...none of this would have happened!" Mommy's voice was still hissing at him to keep his voice down, only instead of anger, I could feel intense fear coming from her.

"Please! Don't wake her up! If she is the monster, I don't want her wrath to fall upon us, I don't want her to attack us or anything..." Mommy's voice was filled with fear—was she afraid of me? Mommy? The woman who wasn't scared of anything, the very same mommy who always yelled at me for stepping even a toe outta line? For leaving my dirty clothes on the floor and not in my laundry hamper?

"Has there been any incidents?" Papa's voice was suddenly hard, and cold. I hadn't heard Papa talk like that, it scared me. I bit the edge of my baby blanket hard, tears flooding my eyes again. My world was changing, I didn't understand it, but I knew somehow, it wasn't ever going to be the same again.

~Next morning~

Papa was there when I woke up to someone gently rubbing my arm and crooning to me. "Wake up, little princess. Its time to wakie wakie!" His smile was the same one I'd seen yesterday when he smiled at me. The same smile I remembered, but his eyes were still distant, and different.

After a quick change of clothes and an even faster breakfast, I was being fastened into Papa's car, different one than I remembered him having, and we were off to have fun. He talked nicely to me, telling me all the different games we were going to play, but all I could think of was the words that he said to my mommy and daddy. '..put her through so much pain and suffering..' and daddy's words: 'I'll not have that monster living in my house!…its better off dead than here!' Those few bits wouldn't leave my head. Papa seemed to sense my sadness and fell silent. It didn't help the feelings I was having. It made them worse.

~Shift back to present

There was a loud series of sounds, my ears heard more static than sound, and my head felt like it was exploding with each blast. I forced my eyes open, to try and identify the insanity. _Shouldn't I be dead? Didn't I let myself fall off the canyon rim?_ I shook my head slightly and immediately regretted it. There was nothing to see except for a constant dim shadowy shades of gray, illuminated occasionally by a burst of light and a wave of heat.

Without warning there was a report so loud it made me yelp and reach for my ears, it had to be thousands of times louder than the reports shot off at the 4th of July displays that were held in Augusta every year. But after the last explosion of noise, it grew completely silent. For a moment, I pondered if I had gone deaf, but as my hearing equalized, I could hear a massive humming coming from all around me.

I couldn't tell where I was, what was going on, or even if I was moving. It felt like being in space, with no gravity, but yet I could feel the centrifugal pull of Earth on me. _How did I know what space felt like?_ My mind wondered, but I had no answers. I reached deep within me to seek the darkness that always lurked, but it had no answers either. Perhaps I was still unconscious...as I felt I should be, with that last thought, I felt myself spiral back down into my oblivion.

~ Flashback Memory

"Focus on the card, Missy, tell me what you think it is?" The man across the table asked me again as he held up another large white card. I stared at it and frowned, I didn't understand what it was I was supposed to be doing. I looked at my Papa for reassurance, but his smile offered me no comfort. After a few seconds, the man put the card down and shook his head. "Sir, you'll need to step outside, I'm afraid I'm not going to get her attention fully unless we revert to the usual means."

I expected Papa to argue and demand to stay with me, but he just nodded and walked away. I opened my mouth to call out to him, but other people came into the room at the same time, wheeling a cart with a bulky thing on it into the room. "Papa?" I whispered, fear spreading through me, he had promised me that as long as I did everything they asked of me, and tried my best he'd not leave my side. He promised me he wouldn't let them hurt me.

The new people who entered quickly started attaching stuff to my arms, and when I saw them plug in the small wires into the machine, my heart started pounding hard. "Now Missy, I need your full attention." I looked up at the man who had held the cards, tears in my eyes making him waver like the not-water on the road on a hot day. "I'm going to try this again, I'm going to hold up the card, and you're going to tell me what card it is that I'm holding. If you don't answer correctly, I'm going to press a button here, and its going to give you a small shock, kinda like touching metal during the winter. The more wrong answers you get, the larger the shock, but don't worry, we won't let it get too high, once it gets to number 10, we'll stop this and begin another test, okay?"

My mind reeled. Shocks? Hurt me if I got it wrong? I still didn't understand how I was supposed to know what was on the cards! "Not okay! I don't know what the card is! I'm trying, I'm a good girl! Please don't hurt me, I didn't do anything wrong!"

The man with the cards seemed to give me a sympathetic smile that didn't reach beyond his lips. "Then try harder, Misasuki." He flipped up another card and I stared at it really hard, trying hard to figure out what the card was.

 _"We're testing her right now. So far, she's just a little beyond normal specs for a human. Not enough to consider her...I understand sir, yes, of course."_ I blinked in surprise, my concentration broken and the voice disappeared. It had been so clear, almost as if I were standing in front of the person talking, but I looked and no one was there.

"Concentrate, Missy." The man scolded me as a sudden shock jolted through my arms, it felt like a power zap that I used to get in the winter when I ran across the carpet with my slippers on and brushed the Christmas tree's silver icicles.

A loud yelp of surprise escaped me as I reached up to rub my sore arm, something inside my chest seemed to constrict, to surge up, I tightened my stomach muscles and tried to hold on to the feeling, I didn't want to get into trouble again. "I'm trying—I really am!" I whimpered, as he picked up another card and held it up.

 _"This is pointless, she's just a stupid little girl, I doubt her IQ will ever be beyond 45 in her whole life."_ I heard the card holder's voice as though he were talking to me, but his lips didn't move. I frowned at him and shook my head, tears coming to my eyes.

"I'm not stupid." I said stubbornly. The man in front of me opened his mouth and closed it a couple of times, his hand lowered the card to the table.

"What did you say to me?" He asked, but without moving his lips, I heard: _"Holy Mother of Mary! There's no way..."_

"You called me stupid, I'm not stupid. And you shouldn't curse, its not nice." I said, folding my arms the way my mommy did when she caught my daddy saying bad words around me.

He gave me a shaky smile and picked up another card, and looked at it hard. "Okay, Misasuki, can you tell me what the card is if I think about the card?" I frowned in confusion, not really understanding what it was he wanted. But as soon as I looked at the card, I heard him whispering to me over and over again. _"Just say its a star—great God in Heaven what are we gonna do with a powerful psychic? Just say its a star—please little girl don't be right, just say its a star!"_ I blinked in confusion. Why did he want me to say a star?

I opened my mouth to say something when the door opened and another man walked in, his eyes were very cold and his very presence made me shiver. He gave off no heat or vibration of life like everyone and everything I'd ever encountered did. "That will be all. Dismissed." The man with the cards nodded, swallowing hard and all but leaped from his chair, the fear coming off him was powerful, and it made me twice as scared of the man with no emotions as he sat down almost delicately at the table. "Misasuki. What is this card?" He held up a card, I shook my head.

"I dunno..." I said as he pressed the button next to him, a painful zap went up my arm, making me cry a little.

"Answer is unacceptable. What is this card?" His voice was soft, quiet and very dead, almost as if he were extremely bored with this.

I stared at the card hard, nibbling my lower lip. An after-image of a square was starting to burn through the card. "Square?"

"Correct." He placed the card face-up on the table, it was a square, and picked up another. "What is this card?" I stared at the card again, but before I could get the strange after-image to appear again, he pressed the button. I yelped loudly, the sting went up my arms to my shoulders and down through my fingers, leaving them tingling painfully. "Faster. What is this card?"

A strange burning sensation made my chest ache, it felt like it was going to burst out of me, and felt a strange emotion boiling under it. I'd been mad before, angry that I couldn't get a toy, or mad that we weren't having grilled cheese for lunch, but this—this wasn't like that. It was much bigger, I tried to be a good girl and hold it back, but another more powerful jolt of electricity shot through my arms, up my shoulders, down my fingers and made my arms throb and tingle painfully.

I screamed out in pain, and tears sprang down my tears blurring my vision entirely. "Stop! I don't wanna hurt!" The other said something that I couldn't hear entirely through my crying and there was another stronger jolt of electricity, this time, when I screamed, I felt myself stand up fling my arms up to try and stop the pain, my eyes blinded by tears, the pain in my arms and hands now going down my shoulders into my back, I felt the ache in my chest surge again, and this time I let it go.

A long scream of rage escaped me as I squeezed my eyes shut and released the tension on the ache. It went out of me like a massive burst of heat when mommy first opened the oven after making cookies, only it was a stronger and just as hot. I heard a lot of loud noises and a grunt that sounded like my Papa's sounds when I did something wrong. I opened my eyes and wiped away the tears after a few seconds, feeling drained and just wanting to sit and not move. I blinked in surprise and fear when I saw the emotionless man standing and the table with all the cards and the chair he'd been sitting on scattered in pieces around the room, the metal twisted out of its normal shape, the cards singed and the table in at least three different pieces. It looked like my aunt's house after that storm hit, all her stuff thrown everywhere. "Response acceptable." He walked by me, saying nothing else, and opened the door, walked out and closed it behind him. Leaving me alone, with the tattered remnants of the table and chair and the paper cards stuck halfway through the wall.

I spun myself in a slow circle, looking at the mess I'd made. And I knew that I had caused it. I saw a small part in the far corner untouched and walked to it, putting my back to the wall, I slid down. Alone and scared, I started to shiver so violently I felt I would break into pieces. I heard myself whispering "I'm sorry, didn't meant it" over and over again as I rocked back and forth in the corner...

~Shift back to present

The world around me seemed to slam back into reality as a blinding light felt as though someone had cracked my skull open and shoved the light directly into my brain. I blinked, I hadn't dreamt of my childhood in so long, memories I never wanted to think about—stashed aside—still echoed inside my mind. My eyes rolled around with sluggish effort to see what assaulted me. Distantly, I recalled waking a previous time, the loud sounds, the bright light, and the last painful report before blackness claimed me again. So I wasn't dead. That sucks, I thought as I tried to move my arm up to shield my eyes from the painful light.

"Ah, there is life yet within the shell!" A voice proclaimed triumphantly as the light suddenly vanished and the world slowly came into focus. I wasn't sure I really wanted to be back among the living yet, the more aware of my surroundings I became, the more aware of the excruciating pain I was suddenly experiencing. "Take it easy, don't move to fast." Another voice rumbled, deep and harsh, yet not so harsh as to sound angry or aggressive towards me, so my body automatically obeyed.

"Where...?" I tried to ask, but instantly regretting the effort, my throat screamed in agony, scratchy, dry, and felt as though I had tried to inhale gallons of highly chlorinated pool water. The pain made me want to gag as waves of nausea washed over me, but I knew gagging would make my throat feel much worse.

"Medical. You really know how to push your body to the limits, I don't know why that surprises me, I should be used to that...but for now, you're alive and mostly—er—functional." The first voice answered my question, the direction a little further away than the second voice, and not as deep or harsh, almost chipper, like a young intern with way too many espresso drinks on his lunch break.

I felt my face frown, and immediately felt the pull of several places across my face. Not stitches, but dried blood for sure pulling my skin taunt. "Easy! Slag it, I will put your tiny body back into stasis, stop making it worse." The second voice was back, closer, louder, and now irritated. I felt the urge to send a glare his way, but my eyes didn't seem to want to really see anything in the ways of actual shapes and details, only blurs of color and shadow. The words weren't familiar, but the meaning seemed to hit me all the same. The deep part of me which usually paced like a wild thing was oddly quiet, but then again, perhaps it was in just as much pain as I was. We were connected after all.

I closed my eyes and reached downward, feeling for the familiar darkness, reaching for the warmth that always reached back when I felt the need for comfort. It immediately filled me, the tsunami of emotions: rage, bitterness, frustration, and impatience. But those feelings were never pointed towards me, it was always outward, at the world beyond me. This part of me was my haven, it was my escape, the one truth in my life that was beyond doubt.

I took a slow deep breath, my ribcage shuddering in the effort. Broken rib. I felt part of my stomach flare in pain, didn't know what that was, but it was likely injured too. Instinctively, I reached a hand up, I had no idea why, it was a strange thing to do, but immediately I felt my hand come into contact with something warm and solid. I closed my eyes and let go of the wall within me. Part of me shocked, the other part, the part I trusted with my life, instinctively reaching out.

A warmth washed over my mind, a calming emptiness that wasn't quiet empty, but more like a soft dampening of sounds, much like closing a soundproof window against loud construction work outside. The noise I didn't fully realize I was hearing disappeared. In its wake, a warm sense of comfort, I felt the restless part of me and the conscious part of me merge, and drift in the feelings of warmth. A wave of strangeness passed through my mind, almost like sound, but not quite, almost like a foreign language, but not quite. The more I tried to understand, the less I could grasp it, with my head already aching, I let go and opened myself wider, answering in my own instinctive wash of emotions and images of what I figured were probably the answers to the not-quite-understood questions.

The warmth spread deeper, a blur of my life passed, things I'd not wanted to think about, things I had long since forgotten in the rush of life. Every secret slowly coming into being. But when a part of me I'd always kept to myself started to come to the surface, I felt my eyes open, my throat constrict, my face scrunched and a deep almost animal snarl escape my throat. The warmth stopped immediately, as though on command. It probed no deeper. My personal secrets were still my own then. At least for now.

As the warmth spread through me, seeping from my mind into my tattered and broken body, I felt more than heard the voice. A soft whisper mostly, and it felt strangely intimate. _You are safe. Rest. I will ensure your well being. Relax._ It was so soothing and reassuring, that even that aggressive darkness within me seemed to wrap itself around me protectively and lull down into a comfortable slumber. I followed it shortly after.

It didn't feel like more than a few minutes when I felt myself coming back to reality. Again, there was the sound of explosions, but this time, they seemed muted and distant, the bed I lay on rocked and swayed in time with the booms, adding to the disorientation as I squinted my eyes to see. The world was still painfully out of focus, and it wasn't just because I wasn't wearing glasses. My eyes felt as though I'd tried to wash them with sand.

Blinking rapidly, I tried to raise my arm up to rub the soreness out of them, but as pain flared through my arm, I figured it was best to not try again. I tested a slight lift of my head, and while the pain was still intense, at least I could accomplish the feat. "Hey, take it easy, rest, its just another random bombardment. Everything is fine." I barely recognized the voice from the last time I had woken. It was the younger, less harsh voice.

"Name." I managed to choke the word out, my throat felt so dry and brittle now. Almost as though it was cracking apart.

"Knockout. Please don't talk, you need to conserve every ounce of strength you can. Focus on rest and healing." He told me as he moved closer, a massive shadow fell over me, I wanted to grunt, another robot, like the one that tried to stop me from killing myself. I felt irritated, but without the deeper part of me being irritated too, I didn't put any energy into staying that way.

My instincts were powerful, and I listened to them, as well as that deep dark part of me that stirred when I was threatened. If it felt no danger, I wouldn't rise to fight. "How—how did I get here?" I tried to clear my throat, but the attempt was hollow, I was weaker than I thought, I realized.

"Well, I guess telling you again to stay still and silent isn't going to make you, huh? You definitely have some spunk in you. Alright, just promise me you'll stay still at least, and I'll answer some questions for now, okay?" I stayed silent, my eyes slowly starting to focus in on his image above me. "We happened to run across you. The details aren't known even to me. Perhaps you were tracked and discovered, or perhaps you were just simply found by complete accident, I don't honestly know. What I do know, is you came here half-dead, okay—maybe a little closer to full-dead and you _would_ have been full-dead if not for that amazing will to live you have. You really hung in there and did most of the fighting for us, we just patched you up. You're still pretty banged up, but at least for the moment, death is at bay."

My heart stung at his words. '….amazing will to live...' I had tried to die, and I had failed even at that. Could I do nothing right? I held my tongue. Perhaps I was still alive because of some greater purpose. What had that other robot, Optimus Prime told me? I was the reincarnation of someone horribly bad and yet important all the same. Most wanted me dead, but he thought I deserved a chance, since I wasn't the same person as in my previous life. Wasn't that what he said? Or was that what I had wanted to hear?

"I am supposed to be dead." The words left me before I could stop them. Again, not something uncommon for me, it is a problem I have always struggled with. Knockout looked about to say something when I continued. "Who prevented me from succeeding?" My throat hurt like hell, but I kept forcing myself to talk, somehow finding the answers seemed more important than staying silent.

Before he could say anything, I felt a strange heaviness upon my mind, and staying awake seemed like the hardest thing possible, I saw another vaguely familiar figure enter my vision before my eyes closed and exhaustion and sleep took over again.

It was likely many hours before I felt myself stir again, and when I did, I heard voices. Arguing over the fate of Megatron. Based on what I had learned from Optimus, I knew that meant my fate. Part of my hearing—the human half—heard nothing but strange noises which sounded mechanical and as non-language-like as possible, but the _other_ part understood the nonsense as easily as English.

I stayed still, afraid moving would bring back the pain. I didn't believe in coincidences, if I had failed to kill myself after throwing myself over the edge of an isolated deep gorge of the Grand Canyon, then there was a reason. Nothing happened without reason, even if it never revealed itself. Laying still and listening, I learned a great deal about how precarious my situation truly was.

"I don't care if Lord Megatron was reincarnated as a human female, she is still our leader, and we will do what is in our power to ensure her survival. There is no doubt, and no debate." The voice reminded me of Knockout, echoed by the other voice I'd heard on my first waking here at my current location.

"Agreed. We were given orders. They must be obeyed. Lord Megatron did not leave an heir to his throne, the word was to always ensure he would be in command. He is back. It is confirmed." The harsh tone sounded the same as I remembered, but definitely more aggressive towards whomever he was speaking too.

"I was named the Second-in-Command! In the absence of our leader, _I_ am in _Command_! We will _not_ be led by a small _girl_ -child of _another_ _race_! I do not _care_ if it _is_ the reincarnated spark of Megatron, it is _not_ _Megatron_!" The high pitched voice sent a wave of anger and dark rage throughout my body, I had sudden flashes of a strange face, memories of thrashing the owner of the voice into near deactivation over instances of attempted mutiny.

"Don't be a fool, Starscream! You've seen the scans the same as the rest of us. Even your own _Trine_ knew upon sight what they were looking at." Knockout's voice seemed astonished that the Air Commander could be so stubborn, or stupid.

"Yes, yes. And if not for my blasted Trine mate, I would have been free of Megatron for all eternity while he rotted in the Pit!" Starscream snarled, there was a quieter voice that sounded in protest, one I didn't recognize, but felt I should know.

"Starscream. Aside from the fact that you hate Lord Megatron, and omitting the fact that we all _know_ that the young woman we were following, Misasuki Misako, _is_ the reincarnation of our leader, Lord Megatron—why would you want to destroy someone so troubled by life that they sought a way to end it. Even if the troubled individual was of another species, and a female on top of those facts, there was no calling for the actions you took!" I heard Starscream snort and reply back viciously.

"Thundercracker, you still—even after all these years—act more like a tender-hearted _Autobot_ than the war-hardened Decepticon you are!" Starscream's voice was filled with venom towards his trine mate, but the other didn't seem affected by it.

"I am not 'tender-hearted' as you say, but I am within the lines of reason and logic. If she had been a normal human, let her fall to her intended deactivation. But she was not, and your actions were _not_ called for." The one Starscream called Thundercracker spoke softly, his disagreement with his trine mate's decision obvious.

There was no response for almost a minute, I strained to listen to be sure I wasn't missing anything, but all I got was the burning feeling I was being watched. I wanted to curse. Now I was sure they knew I was awake. What would happen now? I let my eyes open, even though it was painful, I turned my head to look in the direction of the voices, the darkness within me still curled around me, seemed to glare out at them. Knockout was the first one to make any move or speak, he quickly walked over to where I lay and effectively blocked my view of Starscream and the others. "Good to see you awake again, feeling any better?" His optics made a quick scan of the readouts on a monitor across from me and back to me almost faster than I could catch. But I have always been very observant.

From how he spoke, it must have been a long time since I had woken last. I lifted the arm that had previously caused so much pain, it was stiff, but not unbearably painful to move. "Stiff and sore, but still alive." I muttered, my irritation was growing and I couldn't pin point any other reason than the closeness of Starscream and his stupidity.

Knockout followed my gaze towards Starscream and turned with an extravagant gesture spoke to those gathered. "We'll need to wrap up this discussion, my patient needs rest and peace, and you all are preventing it. Out. Out!" He made shooing gestures at them and followed them to the door. As the last one out looked back at Knockout he muttered to the dark mech quietly and quickly. "Make sure no one, especially Starscream gets into this Med bay without supervision, got it?" The other nodded and left as well.

The language was again in that strange non-language that I know I shouldn't have been able to understand, but somehow did. But I knew why I could understand it, didn't I? That other part of me, the part Optimus spoke of, the part that these Decepticons had just been speaking of. This was my native language, even if I had been reborn into another life, did one ever really forget entirely their past? I waited for Knockout to come back to me, but he didn't. Instead he busied himself elsewhere. Which left me alone. To my thoughts.

Never a good thing.

I closed my eyes and tried to think only of the most recent events. The argument over what to do with me. The bitterness Starscream had for being forced to accept Megatron's return. But the first thing that came to my mind was the last moments I had with my beloved Mew the night just before his passing. We had been playing with his favorite little rattle mouse, he had been chasing it and tossing it, then running wonky all around the living room. Holding that little mouse in his mouth and giving out loud muffled yowls of victory as he trotted back to me. He jumped up into my arms and gave me so much affection, that looking back at it, he knew.

He knew it was his last night with me. He wanted to make it the best night I'd ever had with him. He wanted to comfort me. He wanted to let me know how much he loved me. How much he appreciated me. He wasn't concerned for himself. Only me.

As we got ready for bed, after giving him his nightly moist treat, he cuddled up against my throat, burying his head deep into my hair at my neck, just under my chin. He kneaded me so fiercely, giving me so many kitty kisses and purring so loudly that I could feel his whole body vibrate. I fell asleep with him nuzzling me. I fell asleep to his love and affection. I fell asleep stroking him, cuddling my only love in the world, the only soul who loved me back in return.

And I woke to find him gone. Still cuddling me fiercely. My only friend, my only love, and he was gone. He had been the only driving force that was keeping me alive. And suddenly, with no warning, he was gone.

I felt my lower lip start to quiver, and struggled with all my might to keep the sob that clenched in my throat down. I was not in a place where weakness should be shown. But the reminder of what made me want to drive so far just to die brought back up all the horrible things my life had been filled with. The pain of remembering what I'd lost and what I'd never had ripped through me, I squeezed my eyes shut hard and tried to focus on deep breathing, but in spite of it all, I felt a hot tear slide down my cheek. The bitterness of failing yet again to control any aspect of my life attempted to override the pain of my memories, but it too failed. Even the darkness seemed silent, understanding the loss and the pain that raged through me. I felt the emptiness begin to pull me down again, back into that blackness that threatened to suffocate me again in the misery and agony that drove me to the Grand Canyon in the first place.

Then something unexpected happened. A warmth suddenly flooded into me, a warm softness that tore away at the agony, pushed back the blackness in its soft caress. And when I opened my eyes in shock, I found myself staring at another Decepticon that was so familiar yet so foreign that I felt instant shame for the tears streaming down my face. A single slender, razor sharp finger brushed out against my cheek, taking a tear which had been rolling down and pulling it away with such tender care that I felt only the warmth of the metal against my face. The warmth inside my mind wasn't just sympathetic, it was understanding. The one in front of me had lost something equally important and understood my grief. The blank face I stared at was so familiar I felt I should know it better than my own face, yet I couldn't make sense of the feelings. The darkness within me seemed to be more settled than usual, at total comfort with the one in front of me.

A single sound wave line interrupted the blank face and a voice came softly from him. "There is no shame in grief. There is no weakness in mourning. Strength comes from remembering what is lost."


	3. Chapter 3: Another Day, Another Struggle

Chapter Three: Another Day, Another Struggle

It had been a long week, and while everyone involved in my recovery was shocked at how fast I was recovering, I wasn't. I have always healed fast. It was one of the things that made people shun me a little more than usual, that and the odd things that happened to my eyes when I got 'moody'. Knockout said my eye color changing was an excellent decoder for how I felt without having to ask me. He had the pattern down to a T. I just let him do what he wanted, as long as it gained me a little peace to myself and my thoughts, I didn't much care.

I felt somewhat safe in the knowledge that I was—mostly—protected from those who would do me harm, as well as comforted by the presence of the silent one who was always there when I felt my worst. Through the peace and isolation of the med bay and the psychic assistance of the silent one, my recovery had come along extremely quickly, even a little fast for my standards, but I already said, I've always healed fast.

I had been given a small space that was mine for the time being, my 'old' room was being modified to suit me better, I hadn't seen it, but had the vague memory of what it had once been. Given how huge everything was in the room I was currently residing, I could only hope that the modifications would make it more...reasonable.

My week had been made a little more nerve-wrecking due to the regular bombardments on the base. On a few occasions, alarms had sounded and the security around me went from casual to insane. Those few times I felt like even the president would be jealous of how well I was guarded. On one of those occasions, I'd even caught the echo of what sounded like weapon discharges. But I was reassured that it was all completely normal and no harm could ever dream of reaching me. It had been unnerving at first, but I was quickly getting used to the routine.

My small space was just inside the med bay itself, a little storage area had been emptied to allow me a private place to recover in peace. But their idea of 'small' in my point of view of a decent two bedroom apartment size. It was like my warehouse apartment, but with much more room. Open, no walls, no dividers, aside from the small area that was sectioned off for personal hygiene. I hadn't mentioned the need for privacy, but it was given and I was thankful. Over the week I had been up and active, my space was slowly getting more me-sized things. I didn't ask where it was coming from, because I was certain it was being stolen, but that—surprisingly—didn't bother me. I was through with caring about such formalities, I disliked mankind, and didn't care how many were hurt in order to gain me what little comforts I had.

In charge of overseeing my comforts were a few mechs I also recognized. I tried not to think of them in the same light as the movies and cartoons about Transformers. But it seemed that there was a lot of truth to those shows. I hadn't asked yet, and didn't know if I would. It almost seemed rude, comparing something alive and real to something modified for entertainment. So I just mentally noted them as what I was familiar with and if I was right, good, if not, at least I had a record of who was who for my own benefit.

Another explosion and massive shaking tore me from my thoughts and made my heart nearly skip a beat. It was more vicious than the previous attacks, and the alarms instantly sounded. Another first. Usually the explosions and vibrations went on for over an hour before any alarms sounded if they were going too. This attack seemed to have taken no time at all to get extremely serious. The door to my room slid open and Knockout appeared, trying to look casual, but doing a poor job of it. "Forgive the intrusion, Lady M, but I'm going to have to ask you to stay in this room and as quiet as possible, everything will be fine. Just don't make a sound!" With that, he was gone. I blinked at his absence, and felt my heart quicken as I heard the door lock and something heavy moved in front of it.

Was there a possibility that I would be discovered?

Was there a possibility that I would be captured by the enemy? If so, what would happen to me?

My thoughts raced back to my meeting with Optimus. How he had explained that there was debate on how I would be handled, if I would be given freedom, or punished for crimes committed during my past life? Was that who harried this base all the time? Were they actually after me? Surely Optimus would have seem them save me from my suicidal plunge...

Another vicious explosion rocked the small room, sending showers of dust from the unseen cracks and crevices on the ceiling. I moved as fast as I could to a sturdy structure and hid myself beneath it for protection. And did as Knockout said, I stayed very, very quiet.

Within a few minutes, I could hear the sounds of fighting, weapon discharges and muffled cries of pain and combat. They were close. I knew from the few times I'd been outside of the med bay that just behind the wall I was closest too was the outside hallway. It was there that the sounds were coming from. The battle had reached the med bay. I squeezed my eyes shut and put my hands over my mouth to keep all sound as muffled as possible. I wanted to curse, I could feel the darkness stirring, that surge inside my chest that always resulted in something unpleasant for those in my way, and held it back with all my might.

I had to stay hidden. Discovery was as good as death. And I didn't want to die like this. The thought jolted me as strongly as touching a wet electric fence. I blinked, hands still clutching my mouth, when did I start wanting to live? When had this taken place? Wasn't my goal always to find a way to end my torment and anguish? The sound of the med bay door being blasted open made me close my eyes tight and pull myself farther into my security. It was dark where I was hidden, sheltered from all light and as long as I stayed absolutely quiet, even if my door was opened, I would remain hidden. Knockout had killed the lights when he'd left with his warning. There was no reason to think this would be a habitable room, right? I glanced around at the spare furniture gathered here and there, the isolated space that was hidden from view of the doorway, and winced. It was painfully obvious this was where I was kept. But would they search the room for me?

Was I even safe where I was? Another closer explosion of sound made me pull farther back into the shadows of my hiding place. The darkness within me was straining full force, the danger was real. And it was close. The darkness within always protected me, it always lashed out when my life was threatened. I pulled it closer to me, falling back into the boiling rage and flood of hatred. But my fear was more intense, and the usual cushion of the darkness barely reached through the fear, which, in turn, only seemed to make the darkness roil even more fiercely.

The object blocking the door was thrown aside viciously, the sounds of small things scattering and breaking echoed eerily through the room I hid in. My hands pressed tighter and I struggled to keep my breathing soft and even, and trying to stay quiet. But the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears gave way to the fear that the slamming of each heartbeat would give me away.

When the door was ripped open, it took more control than I thought I had to not yelp in surprise and terror. The light from the med bay bled into my space, I could see the light just feet from my hiding place. I pulled myself tighter as quickly and quietly as possible. A massive shadow blocked the light, and a bright green light washed through the room. The darkness inside me snarled in irritation, I caught the flash of a memory of what the green light meant. It was an infrared scan. Looking for any heat signatures. A smart and simple way to search for anything hidden in a dark room with no effort. But the scan didn't come close to me, they had neglected the small crevice I was tucked into. Maybe that meant I was safe? No sooner had the thought given me hope that I saw the green light begin to scan again, this time headed in my direction. I flinched, waiting for it to reach me when it suddenly vanished and I saw the shadow pitch forward seconds before I heard a loud crash and saw the tips of fingers from my hiding place.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go!" I heard Starscream's irritated voice growl into the room, I scrambled out of my hiding place and ran to my second-in-command. If there was one thing I knew, I could trust him to always be there to rescue me. Traitorous as he was, he wouldn't let me fall to the enemy. He opened his hand down to me and I climbed in as fast as possible. The canopy at his chest opened and I quickly climbed in, I could hear and feel his grumbling at my closeness to his Spark, but he did what Starscream was always good at in the past.

He fled. Carrying me along with him.

As he ran, I saw the destruction and the defeated littering every part of the base he ran through. Occasionally another mech would jump from somewhere and open fire, but he gave a few quick shots of his arm cannon and they fell away to bother us no more. I didn't say anything, just watched with wide eyes from my view point as the destruction blurred past. I could still hear the fighting, and I knew that this wasn't even close to over. Which was why Starscream was running. Always just before the retreat order came from Megatron, Starscream would run first, which always triggered the mighty Megatron to call in a retreat. It was funny I remembered that. Megatron had relied on Starscream's judgment of when a battle was lost to call in a retreat. For as long as his second-in-command fought, the tyrant drove on.

But now he ran, and just as the thought of _like the coward he is_ entered my head, the darkness reminded me: _He came for me first._ A sudden feeling of respect for the irritating Seeker washed over me. He could have left me to my fate. He could have easily escaped without every going back for me. But as he fought through another wave of enemies, I realized that he was risking his life to save mine.

As Starscream rounded the next corner, he came to a stop so quickly that I felt myself almost slide off my precarious seat, but the restraints his alt mode copied lashed around me and pulled me securely, tightening almost to the point of cutting off circulation. I looked to see what made him stop so quickly and felt my mouth fall open a little as a gasp escaped me.

Optimus and Ironhide stood there, blocking the path, standing in the same shock of seeing Starscream as he was of seeing them. Then Optimus' gaze found mine locked safely inside of Starscream's canopy at his chest, restrained for safety. "Starscream, you won't escape this time." Ironhide growled as he raised his two massive cannons, pointing them at us, his bright blue optics reflecting the hatred for the Decepticon Seeker.

Optimus raised his hand to hold back Ironhide while raising his other to hold a weapon of his own at Starscream. "Leave us the girl, and you are free to go, we will not hinder your escape." Ironhide obviously didn't agree with his leader's promise, but lowered his cannons slightly, even if they remained fully charged.

I expected Starscream to just dump me and take off, but again, he surprised me by pulling the restraints a little tighter and in a blur of motion and pain, transformed into his alt-mode and flew past the two Autobots so fast that they jumped instinctively out of the way. "Never in your dreams, Autobot scum!" He shouted as he tore through the barricade and out the base's massive sky exit. Weapons fire followed us, but he simply dodged each one with ease.

Ease for him, but each dodge was a barrel roll, a side bank, a back-flip, or a nosedive. Each of these set my nerves on fire and put me at such edge that before it was over I was yelping with each move. He ignored me and kept going, until at last we were under the open sky. As the last of the weapons fire was left in the distance, the restraints loosened slightly, and I heard a sigh of relief sweep through the vents to either side of me, a rush of warm air ruffling my hair in the process.

"Thank you." I said softly, I wasn't sure if I should have said it or not, but I was grateful, and I usually show my appreciation to those who help me.

"I'm only doing my duty. It's expected of me to rescue you. But now that we're alone. . .I could always just jettison you out and say you perished while in transit." Starscream's voice came from the radio output from the controls in front of me. I gave dashboard a swift vicious kick rewarding me with a screech of either pain or surprise, maybe even a little of both and a sharp lancing pain up my own leg.

"Don't be stupid! I thanked you, you can at least show a little respect in kind." I folded my arms and muttered "Idiot" under my breath as his rant started. Resisting the urge to nurture my now throbbing leg.

"This is what I get for rescuing you! Why the others want to follow you still I have no idea! You're a useless lump of flesh that just happens to hold the remnants of Megatron's spark. I should have made a better effort of killing you when you jumped!" Starscream ranted, and the rant continued, but I couldn't interrupt him to demand what he meant by 'better effort of killing' as he kept flying faster and higher.

The air was getting thinner, and the gravity pressing me back into the seat was making what little air I could find harder to inhale. I tried to open my mouth to speak, to warn him he was going to high to fast, but couldn't. I fell into the blackness to the sound of Starscream's ranting and the darkness straining to unleash itself once again at yet another danger. My last thought as the blackness claimed me was that Starscream might get his wish.

Death had another chance at claiming me.

I woke to wind like a hurricane, a roaring sound which kept forcibly popping my ears, I groaned and put my hands up to protect them from the agonizing pressure. "Don't you ever do that to me again!" The panicked screeching of Starscream greeted me as the sound slowly dropped from a hurricane's roar to a loud purr. I opened my eyes and moved my hands from my ears to my head, which was pounding fiercely. "Why do you have to be so slagging weak?" His voice screeched louder than before.

"Shut up. . .bloody idiot." I muttered more to myself than to him, and just as well, he continued on as if I had remained silent. But whatever it was, he sure seemed extremely upset about it. Then I remembered. He had gone far to high and way to fast for my body to handle. Especially since I was still recovering from my injuries; as well as being that it was the first time I'd ever even flown. Next time my body would be more prepared, but right now, it wasn't. As Starscream continued to rant and rave about the weaknesses of the flesh and how was he supposed to know he was doing something wrong unless I told him so, I nursed my aching head and glanced out the cockpit window to see two other Seekers in similar alt-modes to Starscream and a sleek smaller jet-form flying just between Starscream and a blue Seeker which I recognized as Thundercracker.

The smaller jet-form flier I didn't recognize, but the fact that it was flying so close to Starscream and between Starscream and Thundercracker, breaking their usual formation seemed to hold a significance. As I looked over at the unknown jet, the familiar warmth washed over my mind and answered the question as to who it was. The warmth chased away most of my head ache, leaving on a soft throbbing that oxygen deprivation causes. Soundwave must have said something privately to Starscream because the Seeker started screeching once more, louder—if it was even possible—than before. "It was an _accident!_ I didn't _know_ that would _happen_!" The desperation in his voice was almost laughable, but something serious must have gone on while I was unconscious to have riled up Starscream so well.

"Well now you know." I said, interrupting what would probably have been an hour long excuse rant about his innocence. "Just don't do it again, and you'll be forgiven this time." As I finished the sentence, there was a sudden silence in air that seemed to denote Starscream had been getting attacked from multiple sides and all had suddenly stopped.

"I'm...you're...forgiving me?" Starscream's hesitance almost made me feel a twinge of sympathy for him. Almost. The darkness inside me shifted and seemed to growl in irritation of his reaction. The thought popped into my head of having forgiven him often in the past and he always being surprised about it.

"You're lack of knowledge on how flesh functions at high altitudes is no surprise. You never were clever enough to do your research before leaping into something. So in your ignorance, you are forgiven, yes." I growled, agreeing with the darkness, Starscream didn't deserve a full pardon, give him to much lead-way and he'd let it go to his head.

Starscream made a sound that seemed an odd mix between a snort and a growl, but he remained silent aside from that one sound. It was then that I realize we'd been circling high above a small spot of darkness above the darkening ocean. The sun was almost set and the failing light was creating an odd effect over the ocean. As we got closer to the darkness, I realized that it wasn't so much on the ocean, as it was hovering above the ocean. It was a massive ship. I blinked. Just about everything I'd known about the Transformers via the cartoons and the movies had always portrayed the Decepticons using only their warship as a base, but having just vacated a building that was being assaulted—well—it was a little more disorientating.

As we got closer to the Nemesis, assuming that was its name, I began to truly feel small. The base's med bay was big enough to make me feel insignificant, but now, seeing the bulk of the warship from out here inside Starscream, and seeing how it even dwarfed him, really made me feel absolutely tiny. The darkness inside seemed smug about the sight, and I couldn't help feeling a sudden surge of pride at seeing the massive warship. It seemed almost out of place for the feeling, but in this, I could agree with the darkness, it was a miracle that this one warship was still functional. The dark hull seemed to absorb the last of the evening sunlight, making it appear darker and more ominous in the fading light.

Whatever I was thinking about feeling small by seeing it on the outside, it was nothing to actually being inside it. With a move that would make any top gun pilot jealous, Starscream slid sideways and straight up into the awaiting maw of the docking bay. Or at least what I considered the docking bay—apparently it was the entrance all Seekers used to get into the ship, but I didn't know that at first glance. As the shadow of the ship fell over us, and Starscream entered, I felt as though a weight was both added and dropped simultaneously. Part of me at ease at finally being home, and another part of me—the human aspect I guess you could say—was absolutely terrified and realizing that without aid, I would never see civilization again.

But, as the saying goes, you only live once.

As Starscream opened his canopy to allow me out, I felt a pressure building inside my head, it almost felt as though my skull was going to explode. The feeling is well known to me, even now. Its the sudden pressure of every beings emotions, thoughts, and intents slamming down on me. I am after all one of the strongest Empaths anyone has seen. . .ever. I could hear someone screaming and as the world shifted into black, and wondered if the screams were mine.

I don't know how long I remained out, or even if I ever gained consciousness and what might have been done or said to me while I was trapped in the endless loop of Feedback agony. Unless you're an Empath, you would never understand what it feels like to be stuck like that. Aside from the usual obvious powers people feared, I had hidden curses that I would be ever glad to be permanently rid of. Psychometry and Empathy are the main culprits that cause me nothing but agony. I have no control over them, and no psychic on Earth could ever come close to my level of ability, even without control. Without realizing it—exposing me to the countless numbers of Decepticons on the Nemesis, the Nemesis itself, and having bits of anything that hadn't been cleansed—damned me to a very long cycle through memories, events, endless loops of Feedback from the ancient agelessness of all on board.

Perhaps it was the frailty of my mind that gave me the idea that secrets would kill me. Or perhaps it had been an implanted suggestion from Soundwave while I had been stuck in the loop, but either way, when I finally awoke, I had no more walls or secrets to keep from the only other being I'd met that could understand the horror of Feedback. As the room came slowly back into focus, I discovered I wasn't alone. There was a silence that was as foreign as the room I was lying in. My head didn't ache, my eyes weren't sore, and my body wasn't cramped up or tense. It was the first time I'd ever woken without feeling as though I'd fought a war or two while I slept.

I felt good.

And for some unfathomable reason, that scared me.

Looking around I noticed Soundwave next to the massive berth I was placed on, standing, patiently looking over me. The thought of having someone standing over me while I slept would have normally creeped me out. But for some reason it felt very comforting. As soon as my eyes fully opened and looked around cognitively, Soundwave made a single small move closer to the massive berth. I sat up and winced, a wave of pain swept through me as muscles screamed at being used after a long rest. I groaned and rolled my neck in a slow circle to relieve the sudden feeling of tension. "How long was I out?" I asked, my voice thick with sleep and fatigue, my tongue felt as heavy as the rest of my body.

Soundwave's visor lit up with the date and current time. I felt my face scrunch up as I stared at the date and counted backwards. Two weeks. As if on cue, my stomach gave a loud complaint, my lips fell down in a frown. Two weeks. If I had been unconscious for so long, and upon looking myself over and my surroundings, there had been no IV and no signs of forced nutrition or liquids, how was I still alive? As if to answer my question, Soundwave's visor lit up again with an image of me inside of a strange liquid machine, floating like an unborn infant safe inside a mother's womb, a few bubbles escaped my lips in time for breathing. Suddenly it seemed to make sense, as just recently the scientists of Earth had discovered a way to duplicate the liquor amnii of pregnant females to allow humans to regenerate safer and for an alternative to the long durations of detox and depressurization when at great depths at the ocean's floor. For a race as advanced as these, it was probably a simple solution.

I gave Soundwave a thankful smile, somehow I knew he was part of those responsible for solving quickly the mystery of how to keep me alive and well throughout my unfortunate time with the Decepticons. "Thank you, I really appreciate the assistance. I'm sorry it has been needed though." I frowned as I struggled to remember what had caused me to slip into such a state this time. I couldn't bring anything up, it was a complete blank. When I tried to push harder to recall anything beyond the haze that filled in my recent past, my head started to tense up, threatening to become a bad headache.

Before I could worry too much about the missing block, another figure walked into the room from behind Soundwave, who simply stepped aside in sequence to the new arrival. "Ah! Good! You're awake. I was rather hoping you'd wake up within the hour." The look of the new arrival flashed a name, jolting back a handful of memories. Knockout, the current Decepticon medic—only medic with enough medical knowledge to assist both his own kind and that of the Earthlings. "Your vitals look good." He said as a icy feeling and pale green light swept over my body, I felt momentarily violated, but shook it away as he was a doctor—of sorts anyway. "How do you feel?"

I thought about it for a moment before answering. I made a mental sweep of the room to ensure only essential personnel would hear my response. Information was dangerous after all. "As good as can be expected I suppose."

"Yes, yes, considering your physical condition when you first arrived and the continuous stream of incidents, I guess I shouldn't be surprised to hear you're not one hundred percent just yet. But that will come with time, we will eventually have you back to your former—er—glory." The end held he slight hesitation that spoke volumes to me. Knockout was likely among those who didn't seem overly happy with following a reincarnated fleshly female Megatron.

I made a mental note to watch my back from him as well. By the time I finally reached one hundred percent I would likely have a very long list of individuals to watch my back from. The back of my mind screamed at me to demand a status report, but that was something I still felt uneasy about. Embracing that other part of me still seemed foreign and too much like giving myself over to another entity. But as I sat staring at a concerned Knockout in the med bay of the Decepticon warship—Nemesis—the realization that I would have to someday accept that darker piece of me sank it. Best to start learning to accept it now, than to keep postponing it until I had no allies left. "What of the ground base?" I felt a wave of embarrassment flash through me, did I really have to start acting the part now? But it did feel like the right thing to ask, after all, I had nearly been captured.

Knockout made a quirky smile as his eyes flickered to my silent guardian. "The—um—ground base was lost, but we're managing to get all usable materials from it now! So there isn't going to be enough for the Autobots to scrounge up even the slightest bit of resources from it! The most important thing recovered is you! That's really all that matters...!"

I held up my hand, feeling a little more comfortable in asking questions now, assisted by the rush of warm reassurance from my ever vigilant communications officer. "What of all our energon reserves left behind?" My memories flashed to the massive stockpile we kept deep within the bowels of the old base. It wasn't much in Decepticon standards, but in the hands of an Autobot...it would have been paradise.

"Oh...the reserves. Well, I, um, believe, maybe—well, I'm not exactly sure." Knockout looked over at Soundwave for assistance. But my silent guardian made no move to aid his floundering. "I've been locked here in the med bay trying to tend to you and the issues of adjusting conditions here on the Nemesis to better suit your new physiology, but I will find out for you right away!" Knockout's darting eyes and panicked roll of excuses and a quick offer of resolution made me want to smile. I could still send the troops floundering for information at a single request.

But I didn't want to start off bad with my medic, especially if what he had said was true. "Its okay, I understand and appreciate you've had your hands full. Your knowledge on my specific physiology and needs are as new to you as it is to me. I would like an update as soon as possible, but understand that it can't always come immediately." The relief that washed across the Decepticon medic's face was priceless. I turned my attention to my communications officer. Immediately, the wash of information cast my body in the reflective glow of all the readouts. My pitiful brain struggled to keep up with the flow of information, but the other part of me registered immediately what I needed to know.

All was as it should be. The old mine had been blown just as Starscream had escaped, the loss of drones had been extensive, but they were easily replaced, the true Decepticon casualty list was non-existent, but two Autobots were seriously wounded or killed. The assault had been neutralized.

I heard a throat clear from the doorway of the med bay and as I turned to look, saw Starscream standing there looking a mix of perturbed and relieved. "My dearest Lady, so good to see you up and functional again!" His voice purred as his eyes skirted quickly around the room, taking count of who was currently present. Knockout gave a meaningful glance at Soundwave before he excused himself and took his leave to finish whatever his duties were.

"Starscream." I said flatly, acknowledging his presence, then tilted my head to one side, narrowing my eyes slightly. "Tell me, why is it lately that every incident that involves me ending up in the medbay always includes your being there with me?"

Starscream gave me a mock look of shock and hurt as his eyes flickered between Soundwave and myself. "My Lady! You offend me! I assure you these incidents have nothing to do with me!" His wings hitched higher as his eyes and aura grew indignant. "I risked my very Spark to save you from becoming an Autobot _pet_ , as well as rushing you to the medbay when you collapsed as we reached the Nemesis! I have been nothing but honest and loyal and..."

I held up my hand and interrupted him before he could continue his rant that would likely have carried on for way longer than my patience could tolerate. "Alright, point taken Starscream. I am thankful for your quick thinking and actions, while your honesty might be in question...your loyalty to the Decepticons is not." I bowed my head slightly in show of my appreciation. "Thank you Starscream for your bravery and actions. They will be rewarded."

A strange look and emotion flashed over Starscream so quickly I barely had time to register it, and for a time I was certain I had imagined it. "As well they should be! Is there anything that my Lady Leader needs of me? Or am I free to go about my business?"

"Do you have any information regarding the true reason behind the Autobots attempt to capture or kill me?" It couldn't hurt to ask, Starscream was extremely resourceful, and didn't usually divulge information unless direction asked.

His gaze flickered once again between Soundwave and myself. "Other than a few rumors and assumed theories, no, my Lady. I wouldn't want to bother you with either of those at this time, you need your rest to regain your strength." With that, he turned on his heels and walked out. A part of me felt appreciative that he didn't go on in detail about the rumors and theories. Such always annoyed me in the past as there wasn't much truth and holding information on such was dangerous at best. But the other part, the _me_ part was almost sad he didn't confide into me those few things. He was my Second after all, we should be closer than this. I made a mental note to try and make some form of amends with my second-in-command and regain the trust and confidence that should come with the station.


	4. Chapter 4: Duel of Destiny

Chapter four: Duel of Destiny or Destruction

With my recovery well underway and no longer needing the constant surveillance, I was ready to start making my rounds to get my faction familiar with how I looked. And I don't think anything could have prepared me for the hell that I was getting into. I still wasn't comfortable with the idea of being Megatron and I still felt as though I were walking in the foot prints of someone else who would come back at any moment, pissed that I had pretended to be who they were. But everyone was certain, and when confronted with the evidence, I couldn't disagree.

Even the Decepticons that sided with my return were skeptical as they were finally face to face with me and my small truth. I am small. Small even by human female standards. But they took my size in stride since I was their leader brought back to them. But the others—those that thought a _real_ mech should be in charge, someone with battle experience, as well as size, to carry the Decepticons forward to victory—those were the ones I now had the most trouble with. Soundwave couldn't be at my side constantly, and I would have to get used to being amongst the giants eventually, so I did what I always did when I was afraid. I threw myself into the thick of it.

That was probably the worst thing to do.

As I walked through the Nemesis, forcing myself to recall on my own where things were, exercising those hidden and forgotten memories, I had to not only pay attention to where I was, but who was around me. Twice I was forced to leap aside as a busy Decepticon marched through the hallway and nearly squashed me. Habit and lack of caring didn't earn them to look down as they walked. And it wasn't in my nature to look up at anyone either. After nearly three boring hours of exploring the more empty parts of the Nemesis and remembering where all the storage bays were and which ones were which, I decided to head back towards the command center.

On my own.

Without protection. Definitely not the wisest thing I've ever done in my life. And after all of the strife of the day—I had to remind myself, this...was day one amongst _my_ chosen people.

My temper was already extremely short by the time I was finally able to make my way back to my quarters. The day's events were making me really irritated at being so small. I had been mocked, ' _accidentally_ ' almost squished under-foot, and openly threatened. It was completely expected and I had previously prepared for the reception by the Decepticons at large. But it still really pissed me off to have to listen to them go on about how I would better off elsewhere and with Starscream at the throne, leading the Decepticons as he had in my absence.

There had been loyal Decepticons there, as well, and that's what made the fights break out. It wasn't too much different than any terrorist organization on Earth learning that they must follow not only a newbie to the cause, but a woman at that. Most terrorist organizations had a view point that females were the lesser species and had no value above breeding and pleasure, aside from the usual slave-like obedience that was expected.

I am no servant.

I am definitely not a slave.

There is no living authority greater than mine.

And as the fighting, mutinous Decepticons discovered—I give no quarter.

The silence that followed after I had executed a handful of the worthless mutineers had been deep enough to slice through an iron plate. Starscream had witnessed it all, but had remained silent. He was biding his time, waiting for the right opportunity. Looking for a weakness, a chink in my seemingly invincible armor.

He must have found one.

As I turned the corner, I stopped short as I saw him standing in front of my quarters door with a sly smirk that I wanted to do nothing less than wipe it off his face. I began walking again, trying to calm the sudden hammering of my heart. Adrenalin was already rushing through me full force, triggering that fight-or-flight response. For a split second, I had my concerns that since I was currently all alone, that the first Lieutenant of the Decepticons might attempt to kill me. But that thought left as quickly as it came. I could defend myself against him, and being small had several advantages against much larger opponents.

His crimson optics locked on mine and his smirk widened. "I hope you have enjoyed your time here, you're about to receive a fabulous end to your short reign, Misasuki." My body tensed as I heard him pronounce my name correctly. He always made my life miserable by purposely mispronouncing it.

"One would think that after eons of being beaten for your subordination, that you would have learned your place and let all these foolish attempts to overthrow me fall into history." I growled, slowly pulling on the rage that sudden leaped to the surface from my darker side.

Starscream didn't even give me the courtesy of a scowl, he just continued on with his smirk. Whatever he had discovered, he thought it sufficient enough to be absolutely certain he would win in a fight. That was one of the things that never seemed to change about Starscream, he never stayed if the fight had a greater chance at failure, but stood his ground when he was certain that the odds were in favor of success, no matter how bleak they looked. It was that unique vision that had let him to rise up in the ranks to second-in-command. But it was his rashness, his impatience, and his arrogant sense of superiority that kept him from inheriting the Decepticons. "There is a single law that every Decepticon honors more than any other. It is the right of _any_ Decepticon to challenge the current leader for their leadership. A duel to the death, the victor becomes—or remains—the leader of the Decepticons." I felt my eyes narrow as the darkness thrashed restlessly against the restraint I now had to hold on my power.

"I know of this Rite." I kept my voice even and steady. "Are you saying you wish to challenge me for leadership over the Decepticon Army?"

Starscream's face lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning. It would have been funny, had he not been envisioning my death and his ascension to a goal he had been coveting since he first discovered he could ascend above the masses and achieve immortality. "That is exactly what I am saying. I want a duel that will decide once and for all who is fit to rule, and I want to duel in front of the entire faction." His grin changed from a smirk to an evil smile as he leaned down a little to be slightly closer, I could feel the heat coming from his body and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck rose in alarm. "I want everyone to be able to witness you're destruction once and for all."

I felt my heart pounding like a jackhammer in my chest, and feared for a moment that it might burst through my chest as the icy tendrils of terror spread from my stomach throughout my body. How was I going to possibly going to stand a chance against a Transformer? There was no chance for me, even with the use of my power, which I was still learning to control. I held my head up high to meet his eager, evil stare and drove the fear from me and nodded. "As you wish, but we must plan the event carefully, if you want all to witness it, most of our faction is abroad. This will need to be broadcast on a high frequency and likely amplified so that all Decepticons might witness you getting your aft handed to you once again. I'm sure they'd all love the comedy." My voice quivered, and I stumbled over a few of the words, almost completely destroying the effect of seeming unafraid of his challenge.

And he saw straight through it.

With a loud barking laugh, head thrown back to enjoy the rush of power he felt over my fear, he finally looked at me again and gave me a dramatic bow. "It will be as you wish, Misako. I will have Soundwave begin immediately on the preparations. You should go enjoy the remainder of your life, for I doubt I will be sparing it. After all, I have no need for a _pet._ " With that, he turned and walked away, cackling at his own joke.

It didn't take Soundwave nearly as long as I'd hoped it would to get to me about what needed to be done. In the time I'd been here with the Decepticons, I'd gotten rather close to the silent officer. While he never spoke in his own voice, and often used others words and gestures to get his point across, I understood him in a way no one else on this ship ever could. It was a special connection that had started with my new life. And one I felt that even Soundwave appreciated, as he came often to my aid, and usually stayed for long amounts of time when there was either nothing to be done, or I was feeling particularly vulnerable.

I looked over at Soundwave from my perch on top of the massive console as he typed rapidly and frowned. "Do you think I stand a chance at winning?"

Soundwave hesitated in his work and looked over at me, the sound wave line appeared across his visor as my own words came from his visor. "All Decepticons might witness you getting your aft handed to you once again. I'm sure they'd all love the comedy."

I sighed, looking away, chewing on my bottom lip. "I wish I felt as confident as those words were meant to sound. But I'm barely 5 foot tall—how could I stand a chance against a Seeker who nearly ten-fold out-weighs me in all aspects." An image flashed on his visor, it was of me using my powers to repel blaster fire from an intrusion at an energon deposit mine a few weeks back. I shook my head. "That was instinct acting. I have no idea how to use that. Besides, that was _him_ in action. The darkness, how am I supposed to control someone else entirely?"

Soundwave stopped typing again and turned his chair to face me directly. I looked directly into his visor, it was his version of looking one eye to eye, er well, eye to optic in my case. "She is Megatron reborn, but with benefits." It was Knockout's voice. I sighed, and was about to say something when he raised his hand up and pointed a long sharp finger at my chest, gently touching over where the spark of Megatron rested, hidden, then gently put his finger up to my cheek in a sort of caress.

"I know I'm Megatron reborn, I understand that, I am the carrier of his spark and legacy. But I am not Megatron himself. I'm just me. Misasuki Misako, the unloved and the exile." I said, looking away, but his finger forced my head back to look at him again.

A image of Optimus flashed on his screen, it was seen from above, likely footage taken from his spy Laserbeak, who always rested as a part of his chassis. "For as long as she remains innocent of her past, and as long as she doesn't recover any of her memories, there is hope of ridding the world of Megatron for once and for all. At this time, she doesn't realize that she is Megatron, and believes that she is only a reincarnation. We will use this to our advantage. . ." The scene cut off as Soundwave's finger slipped from my cheek to under my chin, the razor point gently biting into my skin, enough to hold me still but not hurt me.

"What are you saying? I'm not Misasuki? I'm Megatron in a different body with amnesia?" I asked, Soundwave stayed absolutely still. His visor staring deep into my soul. I closed my eyes and opened myself to him, letting his emotions and thoughts wash over my mind. It was easier to communicate this way.

The warm wash of his mind over mine was always a comforting feeling, I felt secure and comfortable, I felt invincible. _You are who you are, that will never change._ The words were more feelings and pictures translated into words I could understand. The images of me standing in combat-stance and a larger image of Megatron in the same stance towering over me. Our expressions were the same, the stance was the same. Then another image appeared, it was Megatron's spark chamber, a bright bluish silver pulse washing light around me as I stood in the darkness watching it, then suddenly the picture backed up, and I realized it wasn't Megatron's spark chamber at all, it was within my own body, a powerful ribcage housing a massive heart, the odd organ Optimus had confirmed that was there, and hidden, encased in a strange coil of flesh, tendon and bone, rested the bright bluish silver pulse that was my life and soul. _You are you. Always you. Never changed. Still not changed. Just forgotten. Embrace the darkness, let yourself remember. No weakness in mourning._ The last part was familiar. He had told that to me often when my memories overwhelmed me and the sadness of my life and the pain grew too much to handle.

"You're telling me that I am the same as I was when I was your Transformer leader, Megatron. You're telling me that I _am_ Megatron, not just a recycled soul? Not reincarnated? Just rebuilt into another body?" The concept was really out there, and considering that I was sitting next to Soundwave, speaking through a mental connection to the sadistic communications officer of the Decepticon faction, miles above the ocean in a massive alien warship. . .that's saying something.

Soundwave nodded. His finger slipping down once more to rest over my spark, then back up to underneath my chin, pressing slightly. The point was made. I am what I am. The spark was there, and the actions, memories and life force was no different. I simply wasn't letting myself remember.

I broke the moment by giving a quirky raise of my eyebrows and one side of my lips up in a twitch. "That isn't going to help me kick Starscream's aft though." I figured Soundwave would do what he normally would when I 'sulked', as Knockout called it, and just ignore me for a while, but he simply moved that long sharp digit from my chin to my chest again and pressed _hard._ I gave a yelp of pain and jerked back, a small throbbing sensation went through my chest where the jab had been, I looked down, expecting to see blood, but was not ready for what I saw. A thin bluish glow was barely visible under my shirt, I lifted it at the collar to look inside my shirt and could brightly see the bluish glow.

"This anger inside me builds so painfully, if only I was built in a way to release this." It was Megatron's words from the distant past to Soundwave himself. It was strange to see the image of Megatron speaking, I felt as though I was looking in the mirror, that was the reflection I had missed all these years. The face I had nearly gone mad with longing each time I saw the stranger looking back at me. "I pray the Allspark will re-design me once we secure it." After that last the image of Megatron faded, leaving only Soundwave's blank visor staring at me.

"So that's the answer then. I just have to _believe in myself_?" The last was thick with sarcasm, and gained me another painful jab in the chest, this time resulting in a shallow injury which trickled blood between my breasts, my eyes narrowed, and I opened my mouth to say something but stopped as I felt the darkness stirring inside again. "Anger. That's the key." It clicked. That fast. That unexpectedly.

Soundwave turned his chair to face the console and resumed his typing, leaving me to my thoughts. Megatron had said that he felt the anger inside building up painfully, and yet had no way to release it. He had said that he prayed the Allspark would change that. It had. After he had died, it had re-created him into a form that could channel the power he felt inside himself. His wish. . .my wish had been answered. The darkness I felt roiling beneath the surface, was it truly another entity? Or was that simply the emotions and rage I refused to allow myself to feel? I had always treated it as a separate entity. Yet as I reached within myself to caress it, I felt the cold touch of my power race through me. The energy as it raced through every nerve and cell of my body, looking for an outlet, waiting for use.

I stood up, and one of Soundwave's long tentacle appendages extended to me to assist me in getting down to the floor. "Let's see if I can't become more of who I was, and figure out how to control this sudden ability to use all this anger and rage built up within, shall we?" I gave a smile that Soundwave echoed with the reflection of Megatron's own version of it.

As I walked back to my quarters, I thought about my life, about how I'd always struggled with accepting myself as who and what I was. How I'd always known on the inside I was different—extremely different. How I rebelled at the reflection staring at me, how I'd longed to see a different image in the mirror. All the times I'd confronted people when I'd had enough of their mistreatment, and their comments that I was awfully bold for someone so small, my attitude didn't fit my body. It did all fall into place. But now I was refusing to accept this new change of events, just as I had refused to accept myself from my birth here.

I am who I am. I have never changed, only been modified. Is it truly that hard to accept? Apparently so. Because struggling as I was, it wasn't getting any easier. And now my time was ticking. I had known that Starscream was going to challenge me eventually, and I had figured it would be before I was completely recovered, that would give him the best tactical advantage. But did he know how fast I recovered? Could he be aware of how close I truly was to regaining myself in my entirety?

Soundwave had told me that everything would be ready for our public duel within the week's end. Which was five gloriously agonizing days away—giving me some precious time to master who I was—to succeed or die trying.

And so I struggled for hours on hours to learn control over my powers, the pent-up rage, anger and darkness that seemed to consume everything that made me up. It wasn't easy, and I won't bore with details of failures that stacked until I felt I would die for sure at the duel, my life would be extinguished by the hands of one who struggled so hard to see me destroyed so he might rise. But then, as I had told Soundwave, my power reacted on instinct. Perhaps that would be my salvation during the duel. My failed attempts to master the power were truly pathetic, but just as dangerous. Channeling the power through me drained me of strength and precious hydration. Unlike the Transformers around me, I had no way to re-channeling the energy that was being spent, I had no systems that would stay functional even if my processor dropped into stasis. My body required much more intense maintenance and had to be hydrated several times a day to stay optimal.

With each successful channeling, I felt myself grow weaker. If I couldn't defeat Starscream within the first few minutes, I was doomed. As I stared at the screen, the words from Soundwave confirming that the setup had been finished, I wondered if I would ever get to laugh in Starscream's face of his many failures again. I closed my eyes and let myself drift inside, the darkness embraced me, wrapping around me securely, and it startled me to realize that I no longer saw it as Megatron, but rather the energon that fueled him and every other Transformer out there. The darkness pulsed and pulled, flowed and ebbed. It had a reason to its movements, yet when I gathered up my power, it swelled as well. Was that my error? Was I simply not pulling the darkness along with the energy? Would that be the answer?

A blaring beep at my door interrupted my thoughts. The door opened as I pressed a button next to me on my desk. Knockout entered, a serious look on his face. "Its time. I hope you're ready. Just remember, it doesn't have to be a duel to deactivation—or death in your case—it just needs to be until the other is unable to fight any longer. Try to avoid being incapacitated for longer than 15 seconds. And try to incapacitate Starscream for longer than 15 seconds." I nodded and stood.

"I will meet you outside in a moment. I need to change." I told him as he bowed and left the room. Once the door was shut, I opened the drawer next to me on the desk. I had already picked what I would wear. If I was correct in my estimations. Certain clothes and materials blocked the powers flow and made it draw more off me than was needed. I had managed to make my own outfit for this fight. I wasn't the best seamstress, but I was fairly good at leather-craft. And the soft worked leather fit snug and allowed me to move with no restrictions. It also made the channeling of the power flow better through me. And hopefully, if I gathered the darkness along with my power, it would cushion the draining effectively. Of course, I hadn't gotten the chance to attempt that theory, so this could be a massive disaster. But no more than it already was going to be.

Once I had slipped into the leather, and stretched a little to make sure it all fit properly and nothing was misaligned on the straps and ties, I opened my door and walked out, Knockout and Soundwave were waiting. I blinked, Soundwave was supposed to be keeping an eye on the up-links that made this public fight possible. "Seems Soundwave here is going to take you personally to this match. I will be watching and giving immediate medical assistance where I can. Good luck to you, Lord Megatron."

I know I nodded and somehow the trip to the arena was much shorter than it should have been. Standing in the middle, was Starscream, all shining and pristine looking, his wings held high, triumph already written across his face, he was already addressing the crowds with gestures of victory. I let a soft snort of disgust escape me as I looked back at Soundwave as he lowered me to the floor. When he nodded back, I knew somehow everything would be okay, even if I lost, at least Soundwave would be there to collect me, should Starscream do something that would be considered cheating by the rules of this duel.

As I walked into the arena, I could feel the laughter in those who supported Starscream, their laughter was a knife in my stomach, each snicker a twist, and then the anger washed over me as I saw Starscream himself laughing at me from across the arena. As I gathered the darkness close to me, it wrapped quickly around me, and the wave of rage I was feeling suddenly blasted out around me in a massive gust of air, like a brief tornado touchdown, then gone.

Starscream wasn't smiling anymore. Now he glared. The death match was about to begin. According to the rules, each opponent was allowed to show off their strength and taunt and threaten the other. My display had been unexpected, his was equally shocking, he had prepared to fight a small fleshling. He released a sudden blast from his arm null ray and it scattered just short in front of me as a massive scattering of high static discharge. It was a lethal portable lightning storm. As I slowly started to circle around, he kept pouring out different things that would instantly kill a squishy like me. Each one falling just short, and suddenly he was launching himself towards me, a massive energon whip held in his hand, one swipe and I would be paralyzed if not killed.

But I was quicker, I filled myself to the point I felt I would scream with the agony of the rage and torrent of power that flooded through me, but the darkness seemed to feed it, raising it to a higher level, Starscream seemed to notice the subtle changes around us, and darted sideways, but it was too late. Time itself seemed to nearly stop, his moving was in such slow motion that he seemed to have stopped, they all did, the Decepticons gathered around us, cheering or shouting insults, everything stopped, Starscream's optics seemed to recognize the danger and he moved slightly faster, trying to dodge, but it was too close as I reached out to encase him in my power's fury, time was so slow I couldn't feel my heart beat, I couldn't hear anything other than the hiss of his anger.

It was only then I realized I was in reach of that horrible static discharge, and as he released it I fell back, time went normal for a moment, then as he made to pivot away, just to keep out of reach, I pulled the power up sharply and for a moment, I could see him eye to eye. The room fell silent, and I growled, his mouth opened in denial. "That's...it's...not possible!" He screeched, but it was too late, my power collided into him with a impact that echoed the sound of grinding metal and the screech of twisting metal as he flew backwards and slammed into a pillar at the edge of the arena.

I straightened, blinked, and walked towards Starscream. "You wanted to challenge me Starscream. How do you intend to defeat me from the floor? Or are you ready to yield and return to your place at my feet?" I walked steadily towards him, my voice steady and confident. I could feel a warmth sliding down from my face, and another one sliding down my back and stomach. I knew it was blood, but I didn't care. Wrapped up in the darkness and the torrent of pulsing rage, I felt no pain, only the triumph of seeing Starscream scramble backwards, screeching in Cybertronian that somehow I was cheating, or at least that's how my brain translated it.

"How?! You can't possess this kind of power! Its impossible!" Starscream finally screeched at me in English.

I shrugged, nonchalant, and continued getting closer, being so small, it took a bit to make my way across, and I was in no hurry. The duel was already won, I just had to hear him admit he had lost. I had finished the duel in less than a human heartbeat. A single blow, he'd lost his chance, he'd chosen to use high static discharge. A mistake. My body reacts differently to electricity than a human. It hurt like hell, and left me wounded, but didn't take me down. That was his mistake. And I could see it in his optics, he knew it as well now. As he made to jump to his feet I lifted my hand and slammed it down into empty air. The effect was a massive distortion of air above Starscream, slamming him back down to the ground, pinning him beneath it. "Submit." I said it softly, but the entire room was silent aside from the soft roar of the distortion pinning Starscream to the ground.

"This isn't over yet!" Starscream screeched as he struggled to get up past the massive stabilized gravity well holding him in place. He could barely lift a digit, let alone shift his body under the distortion.

"Fifteen seconds is pasted, Starscream. This duel is mine. Admit defeat." I growled, holding myself in tight restraint. I wanted nothing more than to crush him under the gravity well. It wouldn't have been hard. Just a little more pressure, and his wings would crumble, followed by his delicate Seeker armor. He wasn't built for massive pressures and intense heat. The distortion could produce in nanoseconds that of a typical black hole within the confined space. I was confident I could handle it, and that confidence must have terrified Starscream.

"I. . .I yield!" Starscream finally yelped. And just as quickly as it'd appeared, the distortion dissipated.

I gave a satisfied smirk and addressed those watching. "Again, even in this new form, Starscream still cannot defeat me. Is there any among you who would try to challenge me for leadership as well?" The silence was great, my smirk grew, and my eyes went back to Starscream several feet away as he slowly got to his feet, his Trine mates looked concerned but waited for him to make his way off the arena to them before making a move. "Let this be a reminder to those who question whether I am still worthy or capable of leading this campaign. Let this be a reminder to those who question if I am strong enough, if I have become soft due to my new body. I am who I am. I have never stopped being _Lord Megatron_." I roared the last as fiercely as I could, my voice echoed in the room as though I had used my old voice centuries ago.

The cheer that rose made me realize, nothing had changed, I had simply taken a small vacation in my absence from the Decepticons. My absence wasn't a weakness, it was a lesson of discovery. My new body, my reincarnation had many advantages, and as I was learning, it had few limitations. The secret had been to draw upon the darkness. And now I knew, after seeing how the darkness flowed with my power—my rage—in that torrent of darkness. The darkness was my lifeblood, still flowing through my veins, and that could never be taken away. As Starscream limped to his feet, his glare of rage would have killed if he had that power, but for now, he settled for letting his Trine take him to Knockout.

Soundwave stood at ready as I made my own way off the arena floor. I managed to make it to him without collapsing, but man—did I want to just fall over! The burns from Starscream's modified static discharges hurt worse than before, their burning felt like it was eating through to my very bones. I risked a glance and noticed a hole in the stomach area of my leather, bright red blood was starting to ooze from the hole. I looked up at Soundwave who lowered himself down to my level and smiled. "Its good to fight in the arena again!" He nodded, then gently picked me up, taking me to the same place as Starscream. The med bay would be busy tonight.

After the chaos of the duel had died down, Starscream's Trine mates had left him alone in the peace of the med bay, and Knockout had gone to do whatever it was he did when patients weren't in dire need of him, it left Starscream and I alone in the med bay, next to each other. He did his best to ignore me, but I couldn't stop from thinking about how he and I should be closer than we were. A SIC and his leader were supposed to work as a single unit, to flow together and work together seamlessly, and we worked together about as well as a raging storm surge against the soft sandy banks of an unprotected beach. You were either swept away in the rage, or you barely survived to rebuild. Something about that fact really unsettled me.

The adrenalin rush from the duel was over, and I felt my confidence in who and what I was supposed to be waning back to just plain little ol' me. Regardless of who I used to be, I'd lived for long enough in ignorance-in this life-to no longer understand everything I was being told, had found out, or even vaguely remembered about my previous life. Just pretty words to describe that I was feeling guilty, and that guilt was getting worse by the second as I stared at my Second and could feel his rage and bitterness towards me coming off him in waves.

Knockout was away, doing his tasks, and no one else was around. Only the sounds of my breathing and the steady cycle of air through Starscream's vents welcomed me in the empty room. I thought about speaking to him, but decided against it. He had challenged me, and had even thought he could kill me during the duel. It was obvious he wasn't interested at the moment to fix whatever fucked up relationship we shared. So when I heard him say my name softly, it took me by surprise. "Misasuki." I looked over at him again—having looked away to try and distract myself from the guilt tearing me apart. "I suppose once I am repaired you will give me a chance to say goodbye to my Trine before my punishment is dealt?"

I blinked at him in surprise. He was expecting me to do what—kill him? I suppose it would have made sense, he tried to kill me openly and the public display of open mutiny should be punished, but wasn't that his right? Wasn't that what the Rite was made for? To allow any Decepticon that if they felt leadership was in the hands of a weaker individual that only the strong ruled? My silence seemed to further agitate him, he turned his head to look at me, his crimson optics seemed to glare fury at me.

"Well? You are going to at least take Thundercracker and Skywarp's loyalty into consideration and give them the chance of a goodbye. _They_ didn't do anything wrong. There's no reason to punish them for my failures!" His voice was still quiet, but becoming quickly overly emotional and distraught.

I shook my head quickly, sitting up a little, wincing slightly and replied quickly to keep him from another outburst. "There isn't going to be a need for goodbyes. Thundercracker and Skywarp won't need to part with you..."

Starscream interrupted me in a burst of speech so rapid in his native language I could barely keep up, my brain felt it was going to explode as it struggled to translate the mad rush of static that exploded through my ears. "You're going to have my whole Trine executed? Why!? They've been nothing but loyal, they even discouraged me from challenging you! Everything I've done they've always tried to talk sense into me, they aren't responsible! You can't hold them accountable for following my orders...!"

Squeezing my eyes shut and putting on hand on my temple to try and ease the sudden agony and other to silence him, I hissed. "Shut up!" He fell silent instantly, like a switch. Taking a grateful breath, I quickly continued. "No, no one is getting executed—I'm not going to punish you for doing what you thought was best for our cause. You saw me as weak, unfit to rule, and the entire purpose of the duel is to ensure that only the strongest rules the Decepticons. It was your responsibility as my Second to make that challenge. I'm grateful you feel so strongly for our cause that you would risk your life to ensure it was ruled properly."

Starscream looked an odd mixture of wary, relieved and suspicion. "No punishment. I don't believe you." His voice was still very quiet, but he slowly sat up, his wings twitching were the only sign of the emotions he kept from view.

"No lie. I feel no reason to punish you. You fought well today regardless." With that said, I allowed myself to surrender back to the pain which seared across my body. His hit had been a good one, well placed and a painful reminder I was still recovering from my attempted suicide among other recent painful encounters.

No sooner had my head reached the soft pillow behind me, than I felt the warm heated blanket pulled up to my neck, I opened my eyes and found myself staring at Starscream. I'm not sure what I had expected, but I felt no fear at his closeness and offered him a weak smile. He traced a claw tip across my cheek. "You fought better. I am glad I didn't kill you." His wings twitched hard once or twice before he was able to get them in check again, his crimson optics studying me as I felt myself sucked back down into blackness of exhaustion. As I lost consciousness, I thought I heard him say: "Maybe you will finally see me as I really am." before everything was lost.


End file.
